Sex, Wanker and Intimacy: Dreams can come true

Dreams can come true

By amiezingme - 26/07/2013 13:09 - United States - Swansboro

Today, my boyfriend's dream came true; he had always wanted to break a bed during sex. The bed he broke was a heirloom in my family for 150 years. The best part? He was by himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 220

You deserved it 5 559

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Same thing different taste

By user210 - 26/03/2012 03:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 094

You deserved it 4 085

By tine - 16/11/2014 09:44 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 591

You deserved it 3 775

By Miss_Whipped - 14/10/2016 06:04 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I just received the king-sized bed I'd ordered. My boyfriend moved out two days ago when we broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 227

You deserved it 1 215

Cool move, dude

By Anonymous - 09/12/2010 09:47 - France

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 659

You deserved it 4 265

By hoody - 22/01/2010 22:27 - United States

Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 5 915

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 059

You deserved it 906

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 005

You deserved it 7 446

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 981

You deserved it 6 009

Wrong place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 23/08/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend are I are staying at his parents' while they are away. While having sex in their bed, the whole bed went crashing to the floor. We have no idea what to do, and we leave tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 2 359

By Ecce - 10/07/2010 12:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend jumping on my bed exclaiming that he had "won the lottery." He broke the bed. Turns out he only won £15.80. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 561

You deserved it 3 211

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 26 July 2013 18:54

Palmela Handerson likes it rough.

teamlightskin 14

Friday 26 July 2013 18:53

How in the world did he manage to do that??

Comments

Dracoboxer357 35

Friday 26 July 2013 19:22

Well, nice to know you're dating Clark Kent. You might to look up and see if he blew a hole through your ceiling too. ;P

LesAnn89 3

Friday 26 July 2013 19:31

How do you manage to break a bed by yourself?

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 26 July 2013 23:17

Really? Lol

mrtonyanderson 20

Friday 26 July 2013 19:39

Must've been beating it hard haha

herrnyberg 7

Friday 26 July 2013 20:18

That's nice

RonnieG 10

Friday 26 July 2013 20:19

woulda been worse if he had been with someone else.

Ibeatmyself 3

Friday 26 July 2013 20:32

Damn he must have been mad

docdd_fml 1

Friday 26 July 2013 20:39

how did he do tht?

synchroskater16 12

Friday 26 July 2013 20:59

I'm sure you can fix it somehow!

cloudsofneon 5

Friday 26 July 2013 21:31

You believed he was alone hahaha

yadanax 14

Friday 26 July 2013 21:46

I agree his life sucks

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 572

You deserved it 6 604

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

The Top

Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 423

You deserved it 4 412

Today, a customer filed a formal complaint with corporate about me, because I wouldn't help her find things she wanted while I was off the clock. We were in a completely different store than the one where I actually work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 933

You deserved it 219

Today, I have spheksophobia, a fear of wasps and hornets. Instead of being supportive, my parents have decided that threatening to beat the dog shit out of me whenever I react to a wasp in the house is the best way to "cure" me. They also won't spray against wasps because dad claims it irritates his allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 98

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 982

You deserved it 4 008

Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 94

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 405

You deserved it 33 876