Embarrassing, Cars and Transportation: Dumbass

Dumbass

By .... - 17/04/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the driver's side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 181

You deserved it 108 558

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Same thing different taste

By Dani - 12/01/2010 21:51 - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his tools inside. It took us 40 minutes with a screwdriver and stick to unlock his car and 40 seconds to unlock mine after. Nine hours later, I found my extra key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 521

You deserved it 6 060

Stranded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 942

You deserved it 3 668

By GeriGeriBoBeri - 28/12/2011 08:59 - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 194

You deserved it 39 382

By catherineratley - 06/05/2012 04:09 - United States - Carmi

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 434

You deserved it 2 981

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 108

You deserved it 3 177

By MadameM - 26/02/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, I accidentally locked my car and house keys along with my phone in my car. Then I had to break into my own house looking for the spare. Someone called the police and I had to explain that I lived there. I forgot to grab the spare when I went to talk to the police officers I locked the door behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 141

You deserved it 9 763

By AAA guy - 04/02/2015 16:02 - United States

Today, while on the job I accidentally locked my keys and all of my equipment in the car. I work for the AAA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 317

You deserved it 5 572

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 435

You deserved it 13 264

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 20:50 - United States - Winsted

Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting 3 hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 002

You deserved it 17 911

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 401

uglymoose89 0

Friday 17 April 2009 23:08

ahahhaahha, i'm sorry but that's hilarious. Sometimes common sense commits suicide when we need it. =D

kkkristennnn 0

Friday 17 April 2009 23:08

dumbass

Comments

iVolleyball 0

Tuesday 27 March 2012 5:37

Wow I think this may be the dumbest FML I have ever read.

dman2289 0

Thursday 26 April 2012 5:24

This is why women shouldn't drive.

mazsdps 2

Monday 13 August 2012 9:30

this is one of those times I think people make this shit up. are there really people in this world as dumb as the op?

Ashamed_Sister 60

Thursday 14 March 2013 10:37

Please be a troll, please be a troll, please be a woman hating troll and not a real woman.

doglover100 28

Thursday 13 March 2014 0:30

How'd you miss that?

rabbiddog 13

Thursday 23 July 2015 18:26

This isn't stupid... This is advanced stupid

ari330 21

Friday 6 April 2018 0:56

I don't think you should be driving

Keywords

Miscellaneous Clothes Weird Underwear Animals Dogs Cute Halloween Fire Awkward Smells Love First Dates Scary Phobias Work Embarrassing Shopping Kids Therapy Health Friends Mental health Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Customers Thief Argument

The Top

Today, after I'd decided to give online dating another shot and I matched with someone who seemed interesting, during our actual date our conversation quickly devolved into a debate about whether pineapple belongs on pizza. I ended up blocking her after she sent me a thesis on the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 408

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 900

You deserved it 11 993

The Top

Today, I met this girl on a party and things were going really well. We ended up getting it on in my room and I was about to do my thing after confidently have had bragging the whole night that I was the inspiration of the 50 shades of Grey series. Well guess who got a whiskey dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 3 698

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 422

You deserved it 3 713

Today, I went to a club with some friends. I ordered two drinks from the waitress and gave her a fifty. She never returned with the change, and the rest of the staff claimed they didn't know who I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 710

You deserved it 6 235

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 120

You deserved it 7 282

Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 058

You deserved it 106 695

Today, I announced my pregnancy to my parents, expecting them to be thrilled. Instead, they were furious. Apparently, being unmarried and on disability means I can't raise a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 709

Dumbass

Same thing different taste

Stranded

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