Intimacy: Equality - FML

Equality

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 07:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 231

You deserved it 6 355

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anti-peecleaner - 22/11/2010 22:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 444

You deserved it 5 234

By TooShortToCleanThat - 20/03/2015 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 459

You deserved it 3 752

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 16:36 - United States - Anchorage

Spicy

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 344

You deserved it 6 545

By rashree - 13/02/2010 01:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 728

You deserved it 3 577

Kinky.

By Domo731 - 05/11/2017 13:00 - United States - Johnson City

Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 338

You deserved it 4 958

By Anonymous - 07/06/2016 07:45

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 898

You deserved it 1 238

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 504

You deserved it 36 979

Firehose

By PissingMeOff - 16/10/2020 13:55 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 141

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 466

By Pissy - 23/05/2019 06:05

Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 365

You deserved it 232

Next

Top comments

1awliet 8

Sunday 4 December 2011 16:17

He's obviously never heard of the 3 second rule.

MLK12345 4

Sunday 4 December 2011 16:22

So if you drop a skittle on the ground, and I manage to shit on it and pee on it in under 3 seconds, would you still eat it?

Comments

zach832 0

Monday 5 December 2011 6:07

why are you in the shower? spray some perfume and get in the kitchen!

Miguemex95 4

Monday 5 December 2011 6:08

5 second rule??

LucianDeSouza 4

Monday 5 December 2011 6:12

Sounds to me you guys are a perfect match .

robokid777 4

Monday 5 December 2011 7:56

thats disgusting F Y L

LukaInTheSky 3

Monday 5 December 2011 12:25

Since no one's mentioned this yet I will - urine is sterile

5t3ff1k4h 44

Monday 5 December 2011 13:33

I hope you were being sarcastic. There were at least 20 comments saying the same thing before you posted.

LukaInTheSky 3

Tuesday 6 December 2011 1:11

O rly?

Iamkeaten 0

Monday 5 December 2011 14:16

Everyone knows its impossible to e dirty in a shower. It's like aqua god mode

Robin132 3

Monday 5 December 2011 18:33

at least you had showersex

Fruitmonster2 15

Monday 5 December 2011 23:12

He has every right to say that. Why? because as someone else stated, urine is sterile (besides its JUST liquid toxins that your body doesn't need), therefore he has every right to think that eating a skittle off of the ground to be filthy.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Wednesday 7 December 2011 7:57

Um, sure, but would you like to drink pee? Would you do it voluntarily? No? Didn't think so.

almir1987 0

Monday 5 December 2011 23:26

Ughh peen on sum one daz nasty Lol really nasty lol wats his name R.KELLY

purplepanda805 0

Tuesday 6 December 2011 2:26

That's hot, jk

4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Work Relatable My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Snow Weather Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 150

You deserved it 5 868

The Top

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 570

You deserved it 4 230

Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 075

You deserved it 3 117

Today, exactly two years to the date when I thought my dream had came true when my partner surprised me with a kitten. Except two weeks later we had to give him away because my partner was too anxious about the cat destroying any of his stuff. I'm still heartbroken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 104

You deserved it 206

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 990

You deserved it 64 256

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 5 years only got divorced last year. I never even knew he was married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 873

You deserved it 285

Today, my sister insisted on taking a picture of her plate of pasta “to show her friends what an unworthy family we are”. It was only after she put a candle on her plate that we realized we forgot her birthday. All of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 1 221