Kids: Fictional main character

Fictional main character

By Sadface - 06/12/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, my 15 year-old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 950

You deserved it 14 041

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Okay - 31/10/2009 15:59 - United States

Today, my sister had her first kiss. She was very excited and she told me all about it. She then asked me to tell her about the first time I kissed a guy, what it was like, who it was with, etc. I had to make one up. I have never been kissed before. My sister is 6 years younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 781

You deserved it 6 120

By MrDisgrace - 17/09/2017 13:00

Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 564

You deserved it 373

By Forever alone - 01/05/2015 14:24 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 712

You deserved it 12 508

Spin on this

By foreveralone - 21/03/2020 06:00

Today, I had my first kiss. It would have been great if I wasn't playing spin the bottle as a 23-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 398

Late bloomer

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 05:01

Today, I'm nearly 30 years-old, and not only am I still a virgin, I've never even had my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 178

Take it down!

By steven - 28/06/2009 15:53 - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out of her second story bedroom window, taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned, "My baby's first kiss!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 342

You deserved it 7 302

By Anonymous - 04/01/2009 15:18 - France

Today, I'm 20 years old and never been kissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 394

You deserved it 7 344

Sorry sweaty

By boyfriendless - 10/04/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a five year-old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, and he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute… except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 897

You deserved it 6 208

By Anonymous - 10/07/2013 16:38 - United States - Spencer

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 485

You deserved it 8 346

Party blues

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I made out with a guy that I had just met at a party. It was my first kiss. I don't know what's worse, the fact that my first kiss is at the age of 23, or the fact that I saw him making out with a different girl later on in the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 262

You deserved it 16 683

automatedeffemel 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 23:12

Why would you even lie about that? I don't understand parents that worry more about looking cool to their kids rather than being a good role model to them.

fatherpunk 1

Sunday 6 December 2009 23:16

You didn't have to lie. Your son didn't ask you about anything. You could of said "sweet!" and moved on.

Comments

NikotheGreek 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 2:53

24 WHAT??????????????28??????????????

NikotheGreek 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 2:56

i lost my virginity when i was like idk 10...she was 20.. blonde and made of rubber...FML

I_Meow 0

Friday 11 December 2009 19:34

LOL. FYL for lying to your son, shame on you.

racefan234 0

Friday 11 December 2009 21:15

haha fail on your part

ChairForce 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 8:53

I think I'd just be glad that he told me, and that at 15 he's not sexually active.

kdb268 1

Tuesday 15 December 2009 18:52

This is weird. Okay, I'll take that you have that man macho complex where you don't want people to know that you didn't blossom (lol) until later in life, but why bother making all that stuff up? He says, "Dad, I had my first kiss." Which is sweet if that's all he's doing at 15. Why couldn't you just say, "Aw, that's awesome, son," and get him to tell you about the girl and what he likes about her or whatever? How does "Dad, I had my first kiss," turn into, "Boy, I remember all the women I ran through in high school and college"? That's just weird.

HyperExecuter 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 8:52

okay..... so u sid not want to sound, dumb, I get that, but seeing asthenosphere very fml is something that YOU did (making stuff up) this is complete ydi

HyperExecuter 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:02

hey iliekgirls, shut ur godamn mouth and stop talking shit u stupid 12 year old bitch. god damn, why do all the nerds (like u) have to talk shit about everything. keep it up and ur gonna get jumped u stupid douche

phatdaddy 0

Monday 28 December 2009 22:05

You tell him, buddy!!! He won't go talking shit to random people anymore after THAT verbal lashing!! I bet he wet himself just reading that. He'll probably need therapy.

phatdaddy 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 22:40

Yea, i don't know what the hell happened to the one I replied to either. FML is really screwy about replies.

HyperExecuter 0

Saturday 26 December 2009 9:06

and deepthroat90, r u hot? cause if u r, u should come to my house and I'll give u the ******* of a lifetime. trust me, ull love the feeling of me inside u.