Awkward, Dating, First Dates and Love: First and last date - FML

First and last date

By hairless by death - 13/08/2013 16:07 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 286

You deserved it 4 243

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 146

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 4 428

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 268

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 186

You deserved it 8 137

By newmoongirl1036 - 13/07/2015 02:03 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 3 363

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 912

You deserved it 38 049

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 942

You deserved it 2 633

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 785

You deserved it 3 345

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 288

By great. - 02/01/2013 18:59

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 978

You deserved it 3 564

Next

Top comments

SamanthaNGoree 10

Tuesday 13 August 2013 23:10

Was the hair still attached to your head when he tried to floss?

Dashelle 25

Tuesday 13 August 2013 23:10

What a weirdo.

Comments

Wiz_Of_Oz 17

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:11

You see, even if you successfully 'cured' him of hair flossing syndrome, he is bound to have countless other idiosyncrasies, each one stranger than the last. The question is, how far down this dark path do you wish to go?

jrock9093 18

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:55

At least he has some sort of hygiene lmao

Shyboy333 10

Wednesday 14 August 2013 2:17

Seriously, who does that

AlWAYSN4EVR 13

Wednesday 14 August 2013 4:01

Perhaps your hair is dirty already.

BlackPhenom 9

Wednesday 14 August 2013 5:08

What the hell did I just read?

etishuman22 32

Wednesday 14 August 2013 5:49

You just read that OP went on a first date with some guy that tried to floss his teeth with her hair. Sorry. I had to be a smart ass. Okay I'm done now!

LithFlavored 10

Wednesday 14 August 2013 6:37

What a pig. That's disgusting and kinda disrespectful.

Epikouros 31

Wednesday 14 August 2013 17:36

Hey! Speaking of disrespect... People are using my hair to paint all the time, and nobody's complaining about that.

tannara 12

Wednesday 14 August 2013 7:10

That's absolutely disgusting. :(

Siererrr 13

Wednesday 14 August 2013 7:15

seems a little unrealistic

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 14 August 2013 7:29

I am not sure if I should say he likes your hair or just is a bit off...

awkwardloveannie 28

Wednesday 14 August 2013 7:53

how long is your hair? how long did it take you to notice? what did he eat? during which part of the date did it occur?

Epikouros 31

Wednesday 14 August 2013 17:39

You should become a journalist.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 5 576

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 514

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me I’m clearly turning into my mother. I turned round to have a go at him when I stopped, thought about it, and realised he’s completely right. I’m just like her. Now I’m so depressed, I don’t know if I want booze, a relaxing bath, or a really long, ugly crying session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 452

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 937

You deserved it 14 825

Today, my fiancé called off our wedding, all because I wouldn’t tell him how much my life insurance is worth. Apparently, “Lovers don’t keep secrets from one another” and, “If you’re hiding that God knows what else you could be hiding.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 387

Today, my sister had about 10 seconds of screen time as a nameless extra in a movie and mom won’t stop crying she’s so proud she saw one of her babies on the TV. I used to work for the BBC. I was on TV for minutes at a time, at least once a week, and she was never this proud of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 145

Today, I was cast as beast in my high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't need any makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 163

You deserved it 3 869

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 714

You deserved it 28 773