First Dates, Allergies and Love: First date going well

First date going well

By johnfrank - 26/03/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 073

You deserved it 35 638

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Same thing different taste

By amilia - 07/11/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 366

You deserved it 334

Sounds like a win, somehow

By George - 17/09/2023 14:00

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 2 796

By well okay then - 20/05/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 309

You deserved it 4 676

By Anonycunt - 27/07/2013 16:30 - Germany - Bonn

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 334

You deserved it 4 004

Bland date

By tomtomcutiepoof - 13/03/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 260

You deserved it 7 635

By sarahh38 - 16/09/2009 18:23 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 166

You deserved it 105 530

By not even getting any of her shrimp - 11/02/2014 21:50 - United States - Draper

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 676

You deserved it 6 518

By Anonymous - 06/01/2010 01:10 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 514

You deserved it 4 028

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 75

platypusrex256 2

Friday 27 March 2009 0:00

thats a bit forward for a first date, don't you think?

puffingdragons 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:00

It's the guys fault. "In case I want to kiss you later." Way to come off as a Jerk.

Comments

BipolarBettie 0

Friday 27 March 2009 6:21

I would have thought that to be cute what you said

JuJuBeeSunshine 0

Friday 27 March 2009 6:23

Treat 'em like dirt, and they'll stick like mud.

annis_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 6:30

Why would you even say that? "In case I might want to kiss you later..." Oyyy...even I would have ordered the damn shrimp after you said that

braFTW 0

Friday 27 March 2009 6:32

Did she at least choke on that shrimp?

kellster 2

Friday 27 March 2009 6:38

LOL. You asked for that one, dude! I would have ordered it, too!

bbobe900000 0

Friday 27 March 2009 7:04

lol. shoulda just pulled the move right then and then told her, maybe she would have ordered somethin else

ElDiablo_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 7:05

You kinda walked right into that one

AndyDuNasty 0

Friday 27 March 2009 8:30

wow maybe she just was not a ***** and didn't feel like tongue on her first date u derserved that one man

Migor 0

Friday 27 March 2009 9:32

lol i think you was very sure of youre self now you dont lol

killface_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 9:36

You fail at wimmins.

awkward_turtles 1

Saturday 30 July 2011 20:42

You fail at spelling.

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The Top

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

The Top

Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 670

You deserved it 3 847

Tsk tsk tsk...

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 715

Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 112

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he chose me out of all the hotter girls out there. He told me it's because I have great birthing hips. Apparently I'm having six children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 618

You deserved it 5 716

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 876

You deserved it 3 368

Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 494