Foul mood

By AngerManagement - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 642
You deserved it 24 874

Same thing different taste

Top comments

FreakAZoidd 3

What does "blow off" mean in America? Sorry I've never heard that saying.

Comments

HowAreYouToday 34

Polite?! Who gives a *beep* about being polite?!?! Being polite is a load of *beepbeepbeep*

"Today, my coworker went on a long rant and said he is going to kill everybody by farting. FML."

enonymous 8

You must have been gutted, I'd been full of beans but you got to keep your pecker up.

flockz 19

dont use such vile and disturbing language 6.

nero9112 4

Why did number 6 get so many thumbs down? I guess people in this site don't understand British humour.

I think the 'blowing off' thing may be more area specific as opposed to British in general... There you all go, tarring all Brits with the same brush as usual... 'Oh I love the British accent' ... foreigners ;)

Stonedmanalex 0

what are you talking about 55 i see u everyday at work in burger king

You know, there is a lot of animosity I feel, from the British people towards Americans, not necessarily from #1's comment, but in general. I'm not sure why y'all don't like us Americans.

enonymous 8

Keyman we used the French to beat them over 200 years ago... Yeah you heard me right the french... They've never got over it

a_nutritionist 10

@61 particularly loud rants from migrants about blowing off and killing someone is a fair indicator of why british people dont like americans.

HowAreYouToday 34

British humor? I'm Russian... Lol

cc_the_beast 6

In Aus 'blow off' could be taken as standing someone up, or sucking them off. Be glad you didn't say it here.

koolkat27 13

89- how do you know op was American? it just said that he moved to England, he never said where from. And by the way, no one likes America because they're jealous;)

No one likes America ? And if people don't like America why like the UK?

where I'm from (rural Illinois) blow off is when you ditch or avoid someone

94 - Same as in Canada. I'm assuming OP meant it as being angry or something of that matter. Either way, OP acted very immaturely.

extrovertical 0

Who the hell says "blow off" in that context in the US?

61 - to be fair, nobody likes America but Americans, you just never notice it.

Don't even get me started about the wetbacks stealing jobs in California........

bfsd42 20

I'm Irish, living in America and have seen and experienced both sides. I have to say that America brings the animosity upon itself. And living here, I sometimes have to stop myself from telling people to take their heads out of their ass. If Americans could admit that they are no better than anyone else, then the world would like them much much more. Alas, I don't think they can. :(

123, I can admit that other countries have better features than the US , like the dutch who graduate high school knowing what, 4 languages, and smoke pot. Us americans generally only know one or two. Anti-nationalism is stupid.

a_nutritionist 10

@96 nevermind sherlock, you cant win them all can you?

I don't mean this in a rude way, well **** it I do... But if you don't like America, DON'T listen to our music, DON'T watch out TV shows, DON'T watch our movies, DON'T follow our celebrities, DON'T drive our cars, DON'T eat our food ect. Hell, all the things Americans invented? Don't ******* touch them. Get off the damn Internet because that was created at Stamford and UCLA... In America. Stop watching TV... Because that was invented in America. Turn your lights off... Because that was invented in America. Shit, I could go on and on and on with this list. Don't play the two-sided coin, the one side hating America, and Americans, and the other side, enjoying EVERYTHING that this country has done for the world.

Why have a go about people using the shit you invented when their would be no america without other countries

DerpyHooves 0

Haha, means the same in America.

DerpyHooves 0

Why stop yourself? Just say it. I often say it and I was born and raised here. The large majority of people here are assholes.

a_nutritionist 10

@136 all i can say to that is LOL. youve got no idea how the world works do you?

KennKenn 0

136- Actually, CERN invented the internet, and it's not an American company.

ACTUALLY 152, CERN did not 'invent' the Internet, the Internet was created when ARPANET was set up between UCLA and Stamford University, and they attempted to send the message login, and it crashed at the G. Those are universities in the United States. And as for you, 151, do elaborate on how the world works please? I didn't know that there was an answer to that. Might I remind you that in the late 1700's, we beat your ******* asses, in a war where we were greatly out gunned, greatly out manned, and greatly lacking in funds. Sucks to suck, but feel free to take your entitlement elsewhere ass-clown.

funnyfiona 0

You know what sucks. I moved from England to Australia when I was six and now unless I move back very soon I'm stuck with a horrible accent that I'll never get rid of. On the plus side I know a bit of cockney and pronounce things differently so no- one knows what I'm even talking about. Ps Australians stole all their pronunciations from USA!

a_nutritionist 10

might i remind you that australia wasnt founded until 1770, so not only would i not expect a recently colonised country to stand any ground in a war, but there wasnt one we were involved in to my knowledge. that aside, all australians come from diverse backgrounds, so to assume the british are the homeland of all descendants is ******* stupid. now feel free to stop pretending the wars won by some bunch of idiots in any way determines the quality of a country, cos im sorry but most people outgrow the pissing contest bullshit at some time in their lives, apparently some later than others.

a_nutritionist 10

@157 i do so despise the attachment some idiots have to a homeland that they have no connection to. you moved here when you were 6, you have no concept of living outside of this country and therefore havent the knowledge to claim one is better than the other. im aware australia has many flaws, but im not going around claiming my background is better just because i live in a fantasy world. feel free to have a preference for another country when youve lived there, but even that isnt a justification for fact.

America's amazing and I thank it for the many inventions that I use everyday. But seriously, that self righteous, "i don't know why you have a problem with us" attitude is probably the main reason why people don't like Americans.

Just to point out that even the Internet and the lightbulb were invented IN America, they are actually created by Englishmen. Just saying.

WooHooBar 10

Because you think the world revolves around you and your holidays. I don't care if you managed to get a holiday for ******* your neighbour.

fthislyfe 22

So you wanted to fart and kill someone?

Wait. What the hell does blow off mean in America then?

I can. Eggs, roast beef and oatmeal. Silent, deadly, and frequent.

it was a premeditated fart and run. that's looking at about 26 to life in jail.

Where the **** are you in Britain I have never heard anyone say that here.

This is too funny XD "I'm about to fart and kill someone!" Yes, those silent and deadly farts can definitely do the job....

why would you EVER say you want to kill someone?!

And why would he say that at his work place...?

Stonedmanalex 0

1. psychological problems 2. person sleeping with your significant other 3. that person just really pisses you off 4. self defense 5. for the sake of comedy 6. someone is trying to fart and kill you 7. REVENGE!

who says blow off? I heard blow up and I'm about to blow or hell even blow chunks but I have never heard blow off at all let alone as a replacement for blow up

and as soon as that posted I realized I forgot blow someone off but that's not applicable

FreakAZoidd 3

What does "blow off" mean in America? Sorry I've never heard that saying.

Agreed. He would be equally incomprehensible no matter where he goes.

To ignore. There's also the alternate definition.

If he did mean "I'm going to ignore someone and kill them" then I still stand by my 'incomprehensible' comment.

Blow off means "********" in America. OP is gay.

DerpyHooves 0

I'm American, but I don't know what that means. Blow off does mean ignore, but they're using it in a context I've never seen. It might be a regional thing (in America).

to the British "blow off" means "fart." Really never heard of that before

monnanon 13

Born and raised in the Uk and have never ever heard the phrase blow off. Ever!! When we mean fart we say fart.

monnanon 13

maybe its a regional thing because ive never heard it where I am from (scotland) not from anyone. Im not saying its not used because obviously it is but its probably not a whole UK thing.

i can say something to that... but i dont wanna get modded :(

Kinder93_fml 3

I'm British too and I've never heard it, but yeah seems like a regional thing to me.. I always thought "blow off" meant to ignore. Whatever, in OP's situation it was pretty funny.

monnanon 13

Yeah i agree, social faux pas are always funny :)

I've heard of "blowing off" work/ a person etc... Which means to avoid something/someone. But blowing someone off can sounds a little on the kinky side too.:P

I'm gonna have to agree with the regional theory.. Like in America the word 'dude' seems to be more a west coast thing.

I can't think of anything funny to counter this FML and feel popular :(

perdix 29

See what you started, Kicky! I hope you're happy. divine, don't think you can copy ikickgingers "I got nothing" motif and start racking up massive thumbs. She can do it because she's special. As in Olympics ;)

Maybe gingers can take you under her wing as an apprentice.

perdix 29

When you get angry, you should go outside and smoke a fag. Here in the States, that would mean "to fellate a homosexual man," so I am assuming it means something different in the UK. If not, I'll have to learn to control my temper before I visit England.

in canada it means to smoke a joint. i AM canadian so i know. :P

No, I'm pretty sure in Canada we just say "I'm gonna smoke a joint". It doesn't matter who hears, because here on the West Coast (BC) the ***** practically legal!

In the UK, we also eat faggots* and they're delicious. We also burn them.** *******: a ball of pork offal. ** ****** can also mean bundle of sticks used for kindling. Or you gave your pork offal ball to a terrible cook, FYL.

Sonic_boomerang 5

Ya here in Ontario it's smoke a joint, never heard of someone saying let's smoke a fag while referring to a joint

A joint is a rolled cigarette of cannabis.

I don't think I've ever heard anyone call a joint a fag here in Canada eh.