Embarrassing, Farts and Work: Foul mood

Foul mood

By AngerManagement - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 642

You deserved it 24 874

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/01/2017 14:06

Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 754

You deserved it 1 645

By ANNIEDBD - 23/03/2012 09:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 131

Fartmageddon.

By dusty bean - 18/11/2017 05:00

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 721

You deserved it 606

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

It's a gas gas gas

By annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 766

Zoom off

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 07:59

Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 871

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 380

You deserved it 9 476

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 962

You deserved it 11 822

By Oops - 23/05/2010 09:21 - Australia

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 217

You deserved it 29 952

Vocab test

By shut up. - 11/11/2013 10:36 - New Zealand

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turned to me and sead in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 016

You deserved it 3 226

FreakAZoidd 3

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:25

What does "blow off" mean in America? Sorry I've never heard that saying.

jerome1995 4

Thursday 29 September 2011 15:59

Damn yanks! Taking our jobs!

Comments

sophyy_fml 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 18:42

Since when does blow off mean fart? And I've lived in the uk all my life... :S

bhfboss 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:00

Didn't laugh at all really

benderbot19 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:10

To me, in America, that would mean to ignore and kill someone. Either way, you need to learn how to speak, fartacus.

dogpup4 23

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:13

I've never heard anyone say blow off and I've lived in England for all of my life...

brianjman14 22

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:06

I've never heard anyone say blow off either, and I'm American.

gmstarry 7

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:23

My dad always say 'blow off' lol and we live near London

suck_it_jew 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:08

That's where you learned improper grammar I bet too

funnyfiona 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 13:52

Most of my family are londoners we use the word too.

naedangerdavey 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 19:26

You sound like the typical American.

docscientist 9

Thursday 29 September 2011 22:12

You sound like the typical douche.

suck_it_jew 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:07

You deserve is for living it the UK.

G6chick 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:09

U mean blow up?

Rach227 8

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:26

sorry but you should always learn the culture before you go to the country, if you'd have said blow up then it would have been understood

hoonyer 17

Thursday 29 September 2011 20:38

Yeah, did you know that "fanny" , a word which in the US is the least offensive term for your butt, is actually the most vulgur term for ****** in britain, which is the reason why a "fannypack" is called a "bumbag" there XD

jebron 13

Thursday 29 September 2011 21:04

"Fanny" certainly isn't a vulgar term. It is more the sort of phrase a school child would use on a par with "dick" but not the sort of thing that would offend anyone.