Embarrassing, Farts and Work: Foul mood

Foul mood

By AngerManagement - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 642

You deserved it 24 874

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/01/2017 14:06

Today, in physics class, my teacher was messing around with an air cannon and I accidentally blurted out, "Blow me!" It took me all of 5 seconds to realize why everyone was laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 754

You deserved it 1 645

By ANNIEDBD - 23/03/2012 09:44 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 039

You deserved it 2 131

Fartmageddon.

By dusty bean - 18/11/2017 05:00

Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 721

You deserved it 606

By Mic - 07/01/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going over some paperwork with my back to my office door. As I turn around, my boss enters and says my name loudly. I was startled so bad that I jumped, yelped, and a high-pitched fart snuck out. Everyone in the office now gives prior notice before dropping by the "fart guy's" office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 535

You deserved it 4 649

It's a gas gas gas

By annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 766

Zoom off

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 07:59

Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 871

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 380

You deserved it 9 476

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 21:54 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 962

You deserved it 11 822

By Oops - 23/05/2010 09:21 - Australia

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 217

You deserved it 29 952

Vocab test

By shut up. - 11/11/2013 10:36 - New Zealand

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turned to me and sead in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 016

You deserved it 3 226

FreakAZoidd 3

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:25

What does "blow off" mean in America? Sorry I've never heard that saying.

jerome1995 4

Thursday 29 September 2011 15:59

Damn yanks! Taking our jobs!

Comments

Cappiej 18

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:30

That just blows.

hannahcorrine 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:34

Ahhahaa sorry op. That sucks

Cappiej 18

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:39

Yes it does

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 29 September 2011 18:17

Damn it, does it blow, or suck? Inquiring minds want to know!!!

disney_blonde 16

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:34

Shouldn't really be saying you're gonna kill someone at work anyway, even if you're not serious.

sumomatt_11 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:35

You deserve it for being a moron an using the phrase "I'm about to blow offl wtf does that even means doesn't make sense. Learn how to speak, def don't have kids

YtotsDI 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:51

deadly farts....?

ed1970 6

Thursday 29 September 2011 16:59

You have only been there two months and are already that frustrated? Good luck with that.

kitties_fml 12

Thursday 29 September 2011 17:32

That doesn't even make sense in American English. It sounds like you meant "blow up." Anyway, you're dumb.

scottgeo 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 18:28

Thats the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

jhsmith22 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 18:33

In America it means you want to suck a dick and kill someone......so either way in the UK or America you sound like a complete doosh....Congratulations!

docscientist 9

Thursday 29 September 2011 22:10

Yeah, except it doesn't mean that at all in America.

BellaBelle_fml 23

Friday 30 September 2011 5:20

Wtf is a doosh?

LilliPage 17

Friday 30 September 2011 6:40

I'm from America, and I have never used/heard someone use "blow off" when referring to sucking someones dick. I have only ever heard it in reference to standing someone up.