Intimacy: Freak out

Freak out

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 19:02 - Canada - Belle River

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 067

You deserved it 9 901

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Same thing different taste

By Yoshi - 31/01/2009 20:01 - United States

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 217

You deserved it 6 492

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 900

You deserved it 8 336

By Lisa - 11/12/2018 04:00 - Romania

Today, I made out with a handsome man in the restroom at a party. There was a knock on the door, interrupting us. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 921

You deserved it 1 424

Get in there!

By Menareidiots - 24/02/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 819

You deserved it 22 726

OK then…

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, I was making out with this guy I had been seeing, and things start to get pretty steamy. As he paused for a second, I thought he was going to get up and find a condom, but instead he turns to me and says, "I think I'm going to go to the library." I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 287

You deserved it 3 563

Denied!

By Hystcheria - 25/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 218

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 188

You deserved it 12 023

Peter and Pan

By dudeWTF - 03/07/2021 10:59 - United States

Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 183

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 015

You deserved it 7 448

By oumalina - 12/08/2010 01:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 072

You deserved it 8 424

TheDrifter 23

Wednesday 2 January 2013 23:51

You silly goose, you gotta tie him down before you dominate him if you don't know whether he's a runner.

seandoc 13

Wednesday 2 January 2013 23:49

He must've been under some serious pressure. Or he could've just wanted some pizza.

Comments

bigboy240 4

Friday 4 January 2013 7:26

Must had been some good pizza then

kingaling 4

Friday 4 January 2013 10:58

pussy b4 pizza

Albixr 8

Friday 4 January 2013 19:52

Ouch, poor thing. ...next time bring duct tape and some ropes?

Ilikeburritos 4

Friday 4 January 2013 23:15

maybe, just maybe he didn't want to have sex at that point in time? It happens yo.

thunderr 3

Saturday 5 January 2013 2:25

not sure who to feel bad for lol

thewife5 19

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:03

If it is the first time you got him alone, you most likely don't need to be having sex with him. That is one smart boy there!

Kratos1206 3

Saturday 5 January 2013 20:31

He saved you from realizing how slutty you are.

sobeowns 2

Sunday 6 January 2013 6:27

I like a girl who takes control, maybe he's just playin hard to get

loccsta83 5

Sunday 6 January 2013 10:56

Bros before hoes my dear.

irritatedone 5

Sunday 6 January 2013 18:24

Your boy is gay.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I made the mistake of being competent at chores, so according to my wife I’m trying to show her up, because I don’t appreciate her contribution to the household, and I secretly think she’s useless, blah blah. I had a day off so I cleaned the kitchen and bathroom. Lock me up, I’m guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 66

Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 856

You deserved it 27 155

The Top

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 304

You deserved it 3 015

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 718

You deserved it 3 560

Today, I was written up for being late to work. I was late because somebody in my dorm stole my pants. All of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 490

You deserved it 1 261

Today, I did the walk of shame at work after walking in 20 minutes late with a venti iced coffee in my hand for the umpteenth time, my boss then told me to pack up all my things and get out so I could have all the time in the world to get iced coffees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 4 146

Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 389

You deserved it 5 076

Today, it was picture day at my school. After I got home, I realized my shirt was on inside out… and backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 390