Love: Freudian intensifies

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Freudian intensifies

By mouthwash - 11/11/2014 05:05 - United States - Gallipolis

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 751

You deserved it 4 613

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 397

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 3 383

By lol smiley face - 28/11/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 819

You deserved it 10 439

By TwiceDaily,Kids - 06/04/2012 00:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 963

You deserved it 5 133

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 465

You deserved it 812

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 999

You deserved it 4 325

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 929

You deserved it 10 332

By Anonymous - 21/06/2016 23:24 - United States - Winder

Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 568

You deserved it 1 095

Night terror

By unlovedandunfucked - 10/12/2014 18:16 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 785

You deserved it 4 561

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 745

You deserved it 36 376

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 11 November 2014 11:47

Maybe think about brushing your teeth will trigger a dream for that then you wouldn't be turned down...

zahra_786 19

Tuesday 11 November 2014 11:52

Thankfully it was just a dream, and you'll be prepared to prevent such occurrence in real life :p

Comments

ThatFafHippo 6

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:59

Are we all just going to ignore the fact that his username is 'mouthwash'?

diving_fml 30

Tuesday 11 November 2014 21:00

you should brush, floss, mouth wash and see a dentist then..... just to make sure you're good

kerstileann 26

Tuesday 11 November 2014 23:24

im really tired of these types of fmls

apineapple 40

Tuesday 11 November 2014 23:43

Takes "not even in your dreams" to a whole new level.

therealtixe 8

Wednesday 12 November 2014 6:47

What about is not **** block more of Relationship worthy :)

jDsaasy 2

Friday 14 November 2014 3:25

Well that was quite an entertaining story

KingreX32 21

Friday 14 November 2014 6:20

AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

samboodeee 4

Saturday 15 November 2014 11:10

i dont think you have to do anything there is a way to dream you can always think about something you desperatly want and BOOM it's there in your dream but of course when your in bed and want to sleep at night