Embarrassing, Phobias and Work: Get it off!

Get it off!

By chocofreak - 10/05/2009 10:23 - United States

Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 229

You deserved it 44 963

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2018 12:00

Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 422

You deserved it 501

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 954

You deserved it 1 163

The ruling class wins again

By jcrb - 03/09/2021 10:59

Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 189

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 558

You deserved it 3 026

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 855

You deserved it 9 140

By mcmanager - 11/08/2014 14:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 775

You deserved it 3 611

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 382

You deserved it 6 728

By TexasGirl24 - 10/09/2016 12:51 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 636

You deserved it 1 223

Do not feed the workers

By Kellz - 20/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 168

You deserved it 404

ilikesexyparties 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:12

aw, at least you have a sweet coworker

MmmHotWaffles 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:14

so..is the caramel alright?

Comments

Compwiz1993 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:04

Wow that sucks... I am now resisting the urge to yell out "first" because I hate it when people do that too.

amerrah 4

Wednesday 3 March 2010 6:29

I wish I worked at a chocolate factory :)

xxxbooxxx 16

Thursday 22 July 2010 10:05

me too :)

amoscore 5

Monday 12 September 2011 10:51

You should let Charlie know too.

cocknblock 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 5:31

Tell Willie I said Hi!

BauerMegan 31

Sunday 2 June 2013 21:51

How do you mistake caramel for a spider?

ohhhhshizzz 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:07

#1: You just acknowledged that you were first. Well, wow. ROFL, that is hilarious.

BeanieBaby 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:10

sucks 4U

ilikesexyparties 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:12

aw, at least you have a sweet coworker

Afghanee666 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:13

YDI for not thanking Allah!

MmmHotWaffles 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:14

so..is the caramel alright?

Headcase 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:16

You have the best job ever!!!!

b2redneck 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:25

wtf? #5 What is up with you and all your Taliban and Allah comments? Anyways, this sounds eerily similar to crap I've pulled in the past!

daprnena4lyfe 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:30

ha ur an idiot LOL look next time instead of jumping to conclusions that a bug fell on you LOL

NorfolkDude 2

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:31

Stop acting like a freaking pussy, and next time just say, "Hmm, something fell on me" then look. Don't act like a freaking gorilla in the mist.

Jak0p 25

Tuesday 14 April 2015 20:08

actually I can feel the pain pretty good. spiders are scary so I definitely would freak out, too.

Keywords

Embarrassing Miscellaneous Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I finally decided to tell my partner that I was sexually harassed by another guy in high school. When I got to the point, she rolled her eyes, stopped me and said, "Why can't you just tell me something nice? I don't want to hear about it, it's triggering me." Well, thanks for your attention, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 101

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 306

You deserved it 125 970

The Top

Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 195

You deserved it 4 279

Today, there was a 10-minute cloudburst. It started 30 seconds after I parked my car and ended 30 seconds after I arrived at the office. Now the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and I look like I took a shower fully clothed. Oh, and I'm wearing thin white pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 266

You deserved it 8 015

Today, I was doing my first shift waitressing in a café. Not an hour in, I'd already spilt tea over somebody and dropped two whole meals. Looks like this won't last much longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 331

You deserved it 4 518

Today, my long-term partner and I decided we still love each other and want to try to salvage our relationship. Also today, a long-lost crush reconnected with me out of nowhere. The chemistry between us is insane and I can't stop thinking about him. Maybe it's a sign? FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 1 283

Today, I decided it was the perfect day to make Penne alla Vodka. It was also the perfect day to set my kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 625

Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 006

You deserved it 1 972