Kids: Get on with it

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 385

You deserved it 3 174

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Same thing different taste

No thanks, mom

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 08:00

Today, my crazed and very hormonal pregnant mother told me that I should get pregnant too, so that we can be "preggo buddies." I'm 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 154

You deserved it 134

Just no, stop

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 00:00

Today, I’m on my fifth miscarriage in nine years so we’ve had to decide to stop trying. Ever since we stopped, my mother in law is blaming me for giving her no grand-babies and uses every opportunity to try convince my husband to divorce me and marry a real, “fertile” woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 123

By lovekills99 - 19/01/2009 17:59 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 668

You deserved it 4 316

The matchmaker

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 07:30

Today, my mom has been aggressively trying to get me to marry one of her coworkers, who is around my age. Apparently she loves her like the daughter she always wanted, and since it would be silly to adopt her; she is determined she will be her daughter-in-law instead, whether I like it or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 137

It's not a phase!

By Anonymous - 11/06/2021 07:59

Today, despite 18 years of marriage and two kids together, my father-in-law still insists my wife will one day grow up, realise I was the result of some rebellious phase she’s going through, divorce me and marry a decent boy from her hometown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 76

Love is all around

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 11:33 - Romania

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm "a self-absorbed bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 697

You deserved it 8 945

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 17:55 - United States - Newport

Today, I happily announced that I'm getting married. My dad immediately shot back, "And I'm getting E.D., who gives a damn?" Just when I thought he was joking, he muttered that "the bitch" will take everything in our divorce. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 395

You deserved it 3 376

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 02:12 - United States

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 270

You deserved it 3 318

**** the lifescript

By Angela - 08/03/2021 00:28 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my twice-divorced boomer mother made another passive-aggressive remark about my partner and I not being married, despite our 13-year relationship. What is this, 1950? We don't care about marriage, deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 293

Vessels

By failed brood mare - 17/11/2013 17:46 - United States - Hollywood

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 768

You deserved it 3 129

needleinmypants_fml 3

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:50

they just want granchildren before they die. FYL

Asario 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 23:51

she just wants you to supply her with more food. didnt you realize all the neighbors newborns dissapeared?

Comments

LemonStarship 5

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:01

Tell her to make her own damn baby!

perdix 29

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:03

Of course your dad liked the plan -- why do you think you exist?

Residence_fml 4

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:04

Ugh what an annoying attitude your mom has. Just don't give in to it, enjoy your marriage and when you feel like your little family is ready to expand you know what to do.

Terezi 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:06

Of course Dad supports the plan. He saw you in that naughty school girl's outfit, after all.

rockell 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:06

?!!!!!

Inspired22 11

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:13

LOL! That's hilarious! Parents say the darndest things is all I can say. I could dish out quite a few ridiculous things my parents have said too. I used to take them seriously. Now, I just laugh and brush it off. If we took advice from everyone who dishes it out, where would we be?

RosiePatosie 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:18

It's crazy. but they can't force you to do anything..

Mirorbo 26

Wednesday 12 January 2011 0:22

...just because humans are designed to reproduce doesn't mean it's a requirement in life. Why can't people understand that?

Mpsteve13 7

Wednesday 12 January 2011 1:41

you're ******* stupid. if people did not reproduce, who the ***** gonna pop out more babies

Wheredidgrungego 12

Wednesday 12 January 2011 1:45

Pretty sure the earth is already overly crowded. We could do with a few people abstaining from having babies.

beccusmaximus 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 1:50

30- Do you have any idea how many children are homeless, in foster care, or in orphanages? Just....shut the **** up.

Mirorbo 26

Wednesday 12 January 2011 1:50

As Wheredidgrungego said, darling, the Earth has plenty of humans upon its surface already. I don't think the population is going to die just because 1 in every 10 couples, married or not, decides they do not wish to have children.

TheDrifter 23

Wednesday 12 January 2011 2:51

You're right about the total population, however the problem as I see it is WHO is breeding. I had the misfortune of delivering to a walmart today and let me assure you, the cause of overpopulation is not the desirable portion of the human population.

beccusmaximus 0

Wednesday 12 January 2011 3:15

Lol 37, I'm with you on that.

ArthursLifeSucks 2

Wednesday 12 January 2011 4:53

37 speaks the truth. I'm sure many of you have seen Idiocracy. As it has been prophesized by Mike Judge, so it shall be. LOL we're ******.

nancyfantastic 3

Wednesday 12 January 2011 13:46

you couldn't be more right.... I am afraid the movie "Idiocracy" may end up an accurate portrayal of human de-evolution.

Liddy514 3

Wednesday 12 January 2011 23:41

Although I concur with your statement, I also work at Walmart. Don't diss the entire workforce of the company just because you're used to people with high maintenance. This has been a public service announcement. Thank you.