Health, Fight and Public freakouts: Get outta here - FML

Get outta here

By JMcKay - 26/01/2012 03:36 - Australia

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 095

You deserved it 6 142

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Same thing different taste

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 806

You deserved it 37 581

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 602

By stick - 20/10/2009 16:05 - United States

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 343

You deserved it 171 994

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 286

You deserved it 2 901

By Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 139

By Jif_Creamy - 28/02/2016 05:00 - United States - Washington

Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 895

You deserved it 7 168

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:59 - United States

Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 137

You deserved it 2 259

By Out Ran - 16/02/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 847

You deserved it 34 952

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 160

You deserved it 54 038

Badass

By batter--up - 17/02/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 714

You deserved it 2 700

Next

Top comments

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:52

Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.

akallaan 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:55

So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?

Comments

TKDWill 13

Friday 27 January 2012 5:40

What is this 90's high school? Go beat his ass. Man up

elwood244 3

Friday 27 January 2012 6:17

Or become a male cheerleader like me and grab his girlfriends ass all day

tvibeocho 0

Friday 27 January 2012 6:24

guys not every jock is a jerk dont bag on us just cuz one guy is a jerk

Okayitwasme 0

Friday 27 January 2012 6:27

Run Foorresst! RUN!

Track1991 0

Friday 27 January 2012 6:47

That's when you run to the cops lol.

nerdy96birdy 8

Saturday 28 January 2012 0:48

He'll be working for you one day OP :)

puppie406 23

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:36

s'okay bro. im a nerd too, happens all the time. just stay in shape, once my bf and i had to run 2 miles because he stupidly threw a rock at some douche....

MsMeiriona 2

Saturday 28 January 2012 5:46

Somehow I doubt your "witty comeback" was as witty as you think.

MiddleThumb 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 7:30

No, then the jock caught up to him. He got the shit beaten out of him, and the last thing he did before entering a coma in the hospital was write that post. Like a boss.

SpeakOutLoud 1

Saturday 28 January 2012 22:24

Why would you retaliate?? NERDS ARE THE FUTURE FTW!!!

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Keywords

Cute My ex Awkward Love Family Work Weird Embarrassing Miscellaneous Cancer Ironic Relatable Party Proposal Bosses Empathy Furniture Animals Dogs Zoom Cats Phone calls Amazon Delivery Kids Babysitter Mysterious Scary Birds Stuck

The Top

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 318

You deserved it 8 595

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I agree, your life sucks 4

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The Top

Today, after going to the doctor, thinking I was going to be diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, it turns out my thyroid is "perfectly normal." Apparently the strange feeling in my neck that oddly mimicked the disease is "an autism thing", even though I've never noticed it happen until now. I am so confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 104

Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I had cheated on her. She didn't tell or get mad, oh no. She looked at me for a few seconds then burst out laughing and called me a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 855

You deserved it 14 045

Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 474

You deserved it 5 520

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 672

You deserved it 3 968

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years is dating another girl. Not only do she and I share the same hair and eye color, but we also happen to have the same first name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 415

You deserved it 427

Today, my new boyfriend is such a city boy he couldn’t handle one night of pretend camping in the garden. Apparently, it was too cold, he ran out of Diet Coke, and just generally got bored, so he went back inside to watch TV in bed, but sure, he wants to hike in the mountains with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 200