Health, Fight and Public freakouts: Get outta here

Get outta here

By JMcKay - 26/01/2012 03:36 - Australia

Today, I found out that if a jock calls you a nerd in the street and you retaliate with a witty comeback, be prepared to run. Fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 095

You deserved it 6 142

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Same thing different taste

Run!

By Anonymous - 05/11/2011 01:21 - United States

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 806

You deserved it 37 581

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 602

By stick - 20/10/2009 16:05 - United States

Today, I learned that if you make fun of a man for walking with a cane, you'd better be ready for him to hit you with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 343

You deserved it 171 994

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 03:59 - United States

Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 286

You deserved it 2 901

By Jimmy - 02/08/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 139

By Jif_Creamy - 28/02/2016 05:00 - United States - Washington

Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 895

You deserved it 7 168

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:59 - United States

Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 137

You deserved it 2 259

By Out Ran - 16/02/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 847

You deserved it 34 952

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 160

You deserved it 54 038

Badass

By batter--up - 17/02/2010 02:54 - United States

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 714

You deserved it 2 700

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:52

Stand your ground. Everyone knows a jock can't see you if you don't move.

akallaan 7

Thursday 26 January 2012 8:55

So you then joined the track team, had brains and bronze, and stole the head cheerleader from him? Like a boss?

Comments

TheNewGuy03 28

Thursday 26 January 2012 18:42

I'm a jerd. |the kid|

kpopfanatic93 6

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:33

What was your witty comeback?

karmicsamadi86 9

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:47

Don't worry, when he's pumping your gas in ten years, we'll know who really won in life ;)

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 26 January 2012 19:52

Or kick him in the nuts. HARD.

Rach227 8

Thursday 26 January 2012 21:50

I REALLY wanna know what that witty comeback was :)

lolyeahthatsme 11

Thursday 26 January 2012 21:54

He was just upset because he didn't get your witty joke.

Dcm210 19

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:01

wear steel toe shoes or boots and give him a good kick in the shin.

richboii 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:04

or just stop being a nerd.

lolyeahthatsme 11

Saturday 28 January 2012 6:05

You can't just stop being a nerd. It's like telling a black person not to be black.

erikababyy 0

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:40

good for you for standing up for yourself!

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 26 January 2012 22:47

Should've thrown your glasses at him for a minor inconvenience. (Family Guy-Superman scene reference.)

Keywords

Cute My ex Awkward Love Family Work Weird Embarrassing Miscellaneous Cancer Ironic Relatable Party Proposal Bosses Empathy Furniture Animals Dogs Zoom Cats Phone calls Amazon Delivery Kids Babysitter Mysterious Scary Birds Stuck

The Top

Today, my long-term boyfriend took me to my favorite restaurant. After the main course, he knelt down and finally proposed to me. I was so happy, I almost cried. Until an old woman came over and said I was way too old for him. I'm three years younger than my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 950

You deserved it 2 710

Today, I fainted in my bathroom, full on naked and sprawled out on my bathroom floor. When I came to, I was in pain from landing on my side and very disoriented. I sat up and could see my husband just roll over in bed and go to sleep. He didn’t even ask me if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 49

The Top

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 051

You deserved it 4 183

Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 419

You deserved it 8 855

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 977

You deserved it 3 304

Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 140

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 022

You deserved it 5 754

Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 605

You deserved it 4 725