how do you compromise having a dog? do you rent itor something?

That's like saying if one person in the household doesn't smoke and the other's a chain smoker it's the smoker's right to smoke at the luck table and blow the non smoker smoke into the face. An animal is a big responsibility and costs a lot of money. It will affect his life greatly, not having a dog won't affect her life at all.

I know so many relationships where the girl wants a dog, and the guy eventually gives in saying she has to do the walking, feeding, etc. It normally takes less than a week before the guy ends up having to, because when you live together, you're an easy back up. That's a big thing to commit to if you don't want a pet in the first place. I agree that it's hard to compromise on this subject.

#41 I disagree. My life would be greatly affected if I didn't have a dog. When you get used to having a pet, and then you don't have one, it sucks. Honestly, if he is this against it and she is this for it, they should break up. It's like having kids. It's important that they both agree on whether or not they have pets. It's unfair to say she should never get a dog because he doesn't want one.

It is hard to compromise, but one could be fostering animals. Maybe getting a different animal. And the smoking comparison is extremely dumb. Smoking is very unhealthy and secondhand smoke causes harm, you're comparing causing harm to having an animal. And not having an animal would affect me GREATLY. I have depression and anxiety that they help me with and just simple companionship can mean a lot. And once again, he has every right to refuse to have a dog as she has to refuse not to have one. You are demanding he has a choice while trying to take hers away. If someone doesn't want an animal, they shouldn't be forced to have one. Just as someone who wants one shouldn't be forced to not have one. If it means a lot to both of them, it's best they break up. Yet many on here seem to demand she respect his decision(which she should) but also that she should have to deal with that decision and she'd be dumb/wrong to break up with him.

And people keep stressing how it's another living being and comparing it to children, if someone strongly wants kids and the partner doesn't isn't that an acceptable reason to break up? My issue isn't with saying the boyfriend has the right to refuse a pet, my issue is with people demanding op accept it and implying she must stay and deal with it because it's not worth breaking up over. A dog would affect his life a lot, so how can you say living without one wouldn't affect hers? She doesn't have that companion always there that she cares and raises with the affection and relationship they give.

I know people who have compromised on the dog issue. She wanted a big dog, he wanted no dog, so they got a small dog. Small dogs still have needs, but there is a lot less dog there. They don't eat as much, it takes them far more effort to cause the amount of damage a big dog can cause, etc. Everything about a small dog is lesser than a big dog. Of course, in the end, she did get her dog, but he didn't have a 75 lb dog running around the house. I think, fully grown, she was around 7 lbs. He also did end up liking the dog. They always called the first one "the gateway dog", because he now has a giant, 90 lb mutt of his own. Another couple compromised and got a cat. He got his pet, but it was a more independent one than a dog.

@DoomedGemini, my issue with the "dump him" comments are also calling the boyfriend an asshole. If this is such a big thing for the girlfriend that she HAS to have a dog and the boyfriend is adamantly opposed; they need to break up. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who hates cats because obviously I have a few of the little bastards :)

I am disliking the 'dump him' comments because it seems overly harsh. This may be a deal breaker for each of them, but there should be a discussion about it. They may be able to find a compromise or one may decide it's not worth losing their SO over. They may end up breaking up, but to me this isn't a situation that necessarily requires an immediate dumping.

I think the problem in these kinds of situations is that, no matter how much you swear up and down that the other person will never have to help take care of the dog, the other person is going to have to help. My husband's dog is an asshole (not mean or aggressive or anything, just a jerk) and he and I just leave each other alone, but there are times that me taking his dog outside or feeding him or doing his nails or any of the other things a dog requires is unavoidable. For the most part, he takes care of his dog, but I have to help quite often.

He shouldn't have to say no over and over again. He obviously said no several times already, at some point it's time to get the hint and stop pestering him.

How about A. She SHOULDNT beg B. She should respect the boyfriends decision to not want to take on the responsibility of a dog and STOP pestering him about it.

He should respect her decision to want a dog. It goes both ways. Honestly, I think they should break up if they can't compromise. If getting a dog is this important to her and he's this against it, then they should just find people that agree with their viewpoints on pets.

That would make sense if she had the dog first. Or if it didn't sound like they live together. Or if she wasn't begging him to get it for her. Dogs are a huge responsibility. That would be like saying "you want a baby? Stop taking bc"

43, it doesn't sound like they live together. She shouldn't be begging him to get her a dog. She should get her own dog and it should be her dog, not their dog. And it's not like I'm saying "you want a baby? Stop taking birth control." - I'm saying she can get and be responsible for a dog herself - it wouldn't be theirs, it would be hers and hers alone. And if women really want a baby but their SO doesn't, you don't need to stop taking birth control and trick your SO into it. There are so many other and better options for it - you can adopt or get a sperm donor. I'm telling her that she doesn't need him to get her a dog - she's obviously ready for the responsibility of taking care of a dog and wouldn't be thinking about getting one if she wasn't. I'm telling her that she is mature and responsible enough to get a dog for herself and that she doesn't need her boyfriend to get one or get her one. She's a strong, independent woman - why should she have to depend a man - a man who is, apparently, a total jackass - to get her a pet that she wants?

Maybe he did. Begging could have been "you'll get used to it. We can get a puppy and puppies can't hurt you. "

Yeah, maybe...