Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Going well, is it?

Going well, is it?

By Elizabeth - 29/07/2011 19:56 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 889

You deserved it 5 474

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Rejection - 04/05/2010 07:33 - France

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 020

You deserved it 15 645

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 243

You deserved it 1 511

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 2 305

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 216

Dirty room

By love you too honey boo - 13/01/2020 05:00

Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 308

By jodibut - 06/02/2012 16:18 - United States

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 766

You deserved it 8 060

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 092

You deserved it 7 768

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 210

You deserved it 4 277

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 380

You deserved it 17 915

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 965

You deserved it 40 648

dwhite312 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 1:57

he has manners. what's the problem here?

SpicyDuck 22

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:01

you're gonna find panties under his pillow.

Comments

HeyImJuli 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:47

check for tied up girls in his closet

leeshxx 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:41

giggity

PrickHead 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:50

when he comes home, and you're in your sexy clothes, you tell him "please don't touch anything"

Darklord53 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:54

Maybe he thinks you'll get started without him, and he doesnt want his stuff "on the inside".

Alysin 14

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:58

well good thing you didn't surprise him. that would've ruined the moment

Soloman212 28

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:02

Nosey ass-girls... Mmmmm...

ddddj1 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:11

his name John?

jren207 24

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:17

How romantic.

leeshxx 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:19

boners my boy long time no speak

cjgqsmooth 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:32

does he mean don't touch yourself before he gets home? just a thought

leeshxx 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 3:35

no it's not an imposter! I've returned! don't believe me last msg I have from you says where the hell are u... or some shit like that! bitches I'm back and already been moderated!