Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Going well, is it?

Going well, is it?

By Elizabeth - 29/07/2011 19:56 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that after he gets off work, he can find me in his room wearing something sexy. He responded with, "Please don't touch anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 889

You deserved it 5 474

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Same thing different taste

By Rejection - 04/05/2010 07:33 - France

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 020

You deserved it 15 645

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 243

You deserved it 1 511

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 2 305

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 216

Dirty room

By love you too honey boo - 13/01/2020 05:00

Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 2 308

By jodibut - 06/02/2012 16:18 - United States

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 766

You deserved it 8 060

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 092

You deserved it 7 768

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 210

You deserved it 4 277

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 380

You deserved it 17 915

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 965

You deserved it 40 648

dwhite312 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 1:57

he has manners. what's the problem here?

SpicyDuck 22

Saturday 30 July 2011 2:01

you're gonna find panties under his pillow.

Comments

tijanaa 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 14:37

hmm, i wonder what he is hiding?

Kuina_fml 5

Saturday 30 July 2011 16:21

Ouch, what an asshole.

Java6Nerd 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 18:08

How did you get Sheldon Cooper to go out with you?

justbigbs 6

Saturday 30 July 2011 19:25

You did say "his" room and not our room, nothing wrong for man protecting his personal belongs and privacy, would you want him digging through your room!

Magnimus 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 21:54

You are probably one of those women who moves shit around a lot and when the guy wants to find something, he's like "WTF, I know I put x right here last time I used it," then he has to spend like an hour trying to figure out where you put it. I've broken up with girls over that kind of BS.

ArsenalFan12 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 23:21

wow he really isint the smartest person ever is he?

FreeBird3 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 23:45

That's what I would've said... The problem?

sstickley 3

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:09

and obviously what he really means is "don't touch anything unless you want to end up like my last girlfriend who's corpse still remains under the bed. love you honey"

fcukthat 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 1:12

If that was his ONLY reaction I would've walked right outta there. doesnt sound like he even want to see you looking fine.

KayTee1901 0

Sunday 31 July 2011 6:18

Mayybbeee. Hes just protective of his stuff. My boyfriends the same way. The first time i went to his room he left me on his bed to go lock the door downstairs and said "dont touch anything." lmao. And ik he has nothing to hide. Youre all overthinking this