Money, Weird, Dating and Love: Golddigger - FML

Golddigger

By back to cock-hunting - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Burnaby

Today, on our second date, the unemployed guy I'm seeing tried to convince me to open a joint bank account in our name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 810

You deserved it 5 166

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Top comments

Gunguy 11

Sunday 16 November 2014 0:31

Seems like a good financial move to me.

shanannygians07 28

Sunday 16 November 2014 0:31

You guys might as well get married.. think of the tax benefits.

Comments

beaglelover 1

Sunday 30 November 2014 2:16

My ex at least waited until we moved in together. He used me for 3 years! I tried dumping him after 1 and kicked him off of my account, but he came back and made me put him back on- he stood next to me and had me in tears while I called the bank. I didn't find out until I kicked him out for good that he was also hitting my son. And when he left he stole all he could.

thonyan 5

Friday 2 January 2015 18:59

Seems legit.

kunjac0945 21

Thursday 19 March 2015 14:24

He's the prince of Nigeria, so he just needs a Canadian account to transfer over the royal fortune.

sfxscull 9

Wednesday 6 January 2016 6:52

NO!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Monday 20 March 2023 2:05

RUN, GIRL, RUN. He'll clean you dry in no time. You're not his romantic interest - you're his meal ticket.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 491

You deserved it 15 056

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 199

You deserved it 17 042

The Top

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 991

You deserved it 2 021

Today, I discovered the office coffee machine had been replaced with a complex espresso maker. I'm so introverted that instead of asking for help, I spent the day googling how to operate it, all to end up with a cup of lukewarm frothed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 489

Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 472

You deserved it 3 449

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 784

You deserved it 1 475

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 302

You deserved it 4 804

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 384

You deserved it 9 259