Parenting, Dad jokes and Work: Great joke Dad, thanks - FML

Great joke Dad, thanks

By Anonymous - 05/07/2014 17:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 893

You deserved it 7 910

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Same thing different taste

Secret life

By Anonymous - 06/08/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, the phone rang, it was some woman who wanted to speak to my dad. “It’s probably his mistress,” I said jokingly. Turns out it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 986

You deserved it 206

Thanks mom

By unemployed - 24/08/2012 18:00 - United States - Alhambra

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 484

You deserved it 26 344

By CmS_1733 - 11/02/2016 18:59 - United States - Pottsville

Spicy

Today, after long day at work, I stopped by my parents' house to say hi. After 30 minutes into the visit, my dad turns to me and asks, "Did you really have to stop by while I was balls deep?" Apparently I interrupted my parents' sex time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 192

You deserved it 3 058

By Lisa - 02/01/2010 07:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called my cell. I picked up and said "Hi, this is Lisa and I want you to fuck me raw". It was my dad. He was at my boyfriend's parent's house and forgot his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 836

You deserved it 35 988

There's a time and a place

By Hanna - 03/04/2011 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 668

You deserved it 4 667

Not on the weekend

By jtaylor94 - 21/07/2009 21:54 - Canada

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 357

You deserved it 42 741

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 259

You deserved it 29 578

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 585

You deserved it 47 214

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 414

You deserved it 23 271

By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 05:57 - United States - Hudsonville

Spicy

Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 085

You deserved it 1 794

Next

Top comments

Mercyfulsin 7

Saturday 5 July 2014 22:51

I'd suggest putting the phone on silent next time you go for a job interview!

HotBox69 4

Saturday 5 July 2014 22:51

Haha, that's ******* hilarious

Comments

GregoryStalver_fml 6

Sunday 6 July 2014 1:02

You answered your phone during a job interview ?

aBanana_1 10

Sunday 6 July 2014 1:08

Classy

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 6 July 2014 1:27

Why the hell would he have to tell you?

sempisaviour 17

Sunday 6 July 2014 1:34

lol?

FeliciaG 3

Sunday 6 July 2014 1:46

hilarious!!!

aimzskee 30

Sunday 6 July 2014 1:46

I think this deserves a follow up

laden_swallow09 34

Sunday 6 July 2014 2:13

Y U no turn off phone? It's an interview, for pity's sake!

ladyg228 15

Sunday 6 July 2014 2:18

Lol winning for your dad

loathingloser 14

Sunday 6 July 2014 2:26

You ************

mattrd_fml 31

Sunday 6 July 2014 3:19

You should have your phone turned off during a job interview. ydi

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The Top

Today, my wife is mad because she forgot our anniversary. Not me, her. She thought it was today and got mad at me for having nothing planned. It’s tomorrow, and I do have stuff planned for us. So she’s mad at me because she got it wrong and felt like an idiot, which is somehow my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 80

Today, my girlfriend won't stop complaining about the recent lack of intimacy in our relationship. There's an easy solution to this problem, but I'm currently covered in poison ivy rashes and she refuses to let me touch her until they clear up. Guess I'd better get used to itching and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 215

The Top

Today, at the dentist, I was just supposed to get three small cavities filled. I walked out with a referral slip for the endodontist. Hello, root canal. Fuck you, genetics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 365

You deserved it 309

Today, to save money, I tried following a YouTube tutorial to trim my beard myself. Halfway through, the clippers slipped, and now I have a huge chunk missing in the middle of my chin. I tried to even it out, but it just got worse. Now I look like I lost a fight with a Flymo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 342

Today, I texted my mom asking how she was doing. Apparently she's great, and on her honeymoon. I didn't know she was getting married, or that my parents had just gotten divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 758

You deserved it 4 736

Today, at the end of my 10-hour shift, my manager made me count exactly how many business cards were left in inventory before I could leave. She didn't believe me when the number came to exactly 3000. She made me count them all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 289

You deserved it 801

Today, my teacher made the class do Origami. As a disabled and very ham-fisted individual, I was the only one who struggled, while everyone else seemed to get it effortlessly. I started getting extremely upset as it just did not work, and the teacher would not understand just how impossible it is for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 157

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 059

You deserved it 6 940