Great support, mom
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OP, that was a lot to digest. I am sorry you have went through that kind of abuse, and trauma♡ I hope you are safe now, and are protected in case the ex? Ever decides to try to come back. I would not bother sending him to jail. After all it is the tax payers that would have to pay for that scum? To reside there. If I were you? I would get myself a "little friend" (if you catch my drift) If he ever comes back. If you can not have a "little friend"? Wasp spray works wonders for vision♡ (Just a helpful piece of advice♡) Remember a restraining order is just a piece of paper.. Also remember? Never seek him out. Let him come to you. Remember that you have to be in fear of your life.. It is a lot to think about if the situation ever arises, again. I really hope it doesn't♡ I may be being to blunt. I apologize. Just to much abuse and people dying because of it. These days. Physical abuse as well as Mental/Emotional abuse? Is not okay. By a male or female in a relationship. As for your "mother". I could say something awful, but I'll try to use the logical part of my brain. As well as the kind side of my heart. BOUNDARIES. I like the advice one commenter gave you. Block her. Numbers, Texts, Emails, Social Media (of any kind) If she shows up at your home? There are ways to show her that you are serious about her toxicity, and that you are no longer allowing it im your life. I know people say, "But that's your mother". Toxic is Toxic. I would not answer the door for her. I would not answer anything from her. I know up above I said, "A restraining order is just a piece of paper". Against, domestic violence or ANY kind of violence. But, for your mother? If this continues? This might be an option. Before, you do that? I would block everything. Sit down. Write her a hand written letter, and mail it to her. Let it ALL out. Then I would meet with a counselor or a therapist? Have them reach out to her for a session or few sessions. Let them do it. Not you. That can also send a very loud message. If after all of that, and nothing has changed? You are better off without her♡ Hopefully she opens up her eyes.
Keywords
Disgusting. I doubt you need to hear this, but just in case you do: do NOT get back together with him. You deserve wayyyy better and he deserves prison!
I think that some hospitals—at least in the United States—offer free, anonymous help for abuse victims. Maybe you should look into that. There are also spousal abuse hotlines. Please consider those, too! Also, I would recommend getting as FAR AWAY as possible from your mother (or anyone else encouraging you to get back together with your husband). I’m so sorry that this happened to you. PLEASE be careful. Don’t let anybody convince you to go back into an abusive situation. I, and people I know, have been abused. I have some—comparatively very small—experience with this kind of thing. I’m not just pulling stuff out of my butt!