Embarrassing, Accident, Therapist, Fire and Miscellaneous: Great tip, thanks

FML for mobile
Free

Great tip, thanks

By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 07:10 - United States - Cedar Crest

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 40 998

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Oh no…

By Elle - 23/02/2011 21:07 - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 514

You deserved it 22 426

Pyrotechnics

By Homeless for the holidays - 13/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Farmington

Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 153

By burnt38392 - 24/12/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 521

You deserved it 19 570

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 558

You deserved it 14 917

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 789

You deserved it 76 012

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 290

You deserved it 72 549

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 485

Great balls of fire

By Ouch - 19/01/2017 08:19

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 005

You deserved it 2 040

Leave no paper trace

By can’t do it - 25/04/2023 10:00

Today, my therapist asked me if I’d been journaling as he suggested. I had to tell him that I don’t trust writing down my innermost thoughts anymore, because when I was younger my mom read by diary multiple times and beat me for what I wrote. So did my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 176

What? Why?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 1 089

DocBastard 38

Thursday 11 July 2013 16:11

Your therapist obviously thought you were a lost cause and was trying to get you to end it all. I'd check to see of she took out an insurance policy on you recently.

Pleonasm 35

Thursday 11 July 2013 16:12

It might have been a pane in the ash, but I bet that it was relieving throwing your worries our the window like that. Nothing to get burned up about.

Comments

deadhead419 15

Friday 12 July 2013 4:47

Ydi for lighting it IN the trash can

ruchiee 6

Friday 12 July 2013 5:23

Who does that? I guess common sense is not that common these days... YDI, OP!

ni0ve 9

Friday 12 July 2013 5:32

more stuff to write about

aeonsoul 12

Friday 12 July 2013 7:48

Hahaha I could picture this. Raymond Baron style.

asherm 15

Friday 12 July 2013 7:56

Maybe build a fire pit.... Outside of course. Or light it in sink or tub so you have water to put it out

oped01 8

Friday 12 July 2013 10:20

That's the funniest thing I ever heard

KatzeZauber 7

Friday 12 July 2013 10:37

That's probably because you're supposed to do it in the sink...Or let it fall into the toilet...Fire should always be near water to avoid shit like that :/