Sex, Awkward and Love: Hand shandy

Hand shandy

By cdoyle - 08/04/2009 12:32 - Canada

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 518

You deserved it 110 709

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 891

You deserved it 4 986

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 480

You deserved it 29 023

By ohcrap - 28/09/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 055

You deserved it 4 604

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 113

You deserved it 29 802

By highlandgirl10 - 21/07/2010 20:31 - Canada

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 104

You deserved it 6 230

And I oop

By SuperBunny - 20/04/2009 07:59 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 62 047

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 137

You deserved it 1 458

By Username - 27/06/2011 08:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 493

You deserved it 7 768

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 051

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 5 470

checkyesbecca 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 20:14

And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.

e86 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 20:17

I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.

Comments

Coleenie5 2

Monday 16 May 2011 19:40

Straight up trashy.

Juicy2011 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 5:52

What's wrong with you!!

Kittcatz38 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:18

dumbass

whiteelite84 0

Monday 19 September 2011 15:58

Awesome gf

WolfAttac 0

Thursday 29 September 2011 4:28

Oh what the **** you sick bastard don't do that in a ******* public restaurant

stevenJB 25

Monday 17 October 2011 15:49

Wish my girlfriend was as cool as you!

lex1459 38

Wednesday 7 December 2011 7:51

Why would you do that in a restaurant???

jwill27 5

Thursday 29 December 2011 5:25

At dinner in a public place. Really?

newburton13 26

Saturday 25 February 2012 18:03

Why? Just...why?

husky22 0

Wednesday 29 February 2012 3:26

ydi for doing that in a public restraunt. fml for all the other customers who had to watch

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I deleted all of my dating apps because apparently something is wrong with me. I've been on 20 different dates this year and nothing has come out of it. I feel like I have the plague and no one wants to be near me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 153

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, my 19-year-old brother subjected me to yet another rant about how the writers of My Little Pony aren't writing the show for people like him any more, the "true fans", otherwise known as pimply-faced adults who don't use deodorant and only shower once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 505

You deserved it 4 524

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 354

You deserved it 3 341

Today, I went into labor. I called my mother to ask her to drive me to the hospital. She wanted me to wait for her to take a nap first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 955

You deserved it 1 072

Today, my mother scolded me for undressing my son and giving him Tylenol to break his fever. She insisted I wrap him in several layers to increase his body temperature in order to let him "sweat the fever out." I’m married to a pediatrician. My mom didn’t finish high school. She swears we're wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 163

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 067

You deserved it 38 404

Today, a really cute guy sat across from me on the bus. He smiled at me, then tensed his muscles and lifted a heavy bag with one arm. Thinking he was trying to act "macho" to impress me, I rolled my eyes and threw him an annoyed/disgusted look. When he got off, I realized he only had one arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 193

You deserved it 83 808