Sex, Awkward and Love: Hand shandy

Hand shandy

By cdoyle - 08/04/2009 12:32 - Canada

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 518

You deserved it 110 709

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 891

You deserved it 4 986

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 480

You deserved it 29 023

By ohcrap - 28/09/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 055

You deserved it 4 604

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 113

You deserved it 29 802

By highlandgirl10 - 21/07/2010 20:31 - Canada

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 104

You deserved it 6 230

And I oop

By SuperBunny - 20/04/2009 07:59 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 62 047

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 137

You deserved it 1 458

By Username - 27/06/2011 08:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 493

You deserved it 7 768

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 051

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 5 470

checkyesbecca 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 20:14

And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.

e86 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 20:17

I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.

Comments

ChemosBurning 0

Sunday 4 March 2012 4:05

At least the byf didn't care right? I mean....? Yea..,,

Migole 36

Thursday 28 June 2012 23:25

Couldn't agree more with most of the comments here. Why, just why?? I wouldn't want my little brother to ask "what's that woman over there doing?". I hope you got kicked out and fined!!

halliemarie1818 5

Wednesday 5 September 2012 21:05

Don't be such a **** next time?

CasCake96 3

Monday 10 September 2012 0:14

Lol. Tuggie while the parents are there, real lady like. XD

decidedlyvague 11

Tuesday 30 October 2012 6:46

I want a gf like that... Also... I wouldn't have stood up. Lol

xRezSynn 15

Sunday 20 January 2013 13:13

Why would u do that in a resturant

DontTreadOnMeK 6

Saturday 11 May 2013 6:50

Today, I was eating my delicious Chicken Alfredo pasta, when I saw a woman that looks like Snooki help her boyfriend make some more "Alfredo sauce." FML

Mintchip320 0

Thursday 20 June 2013 5:25

Why were you giving him a handjob in a restaurant?!?

mkcherry 14

Monday 24 June 2013 8:34

Im surprised people are being such judgmental prudes, i highly doubt she was going to expose him and start and hand/******** in the middle of the restaurant. She was playing with him subtly enough he didn't notice his zipper come down (hence why he stood up) and I'm sure the place has tablecloths. Have none of you ever put your hand on your ladies thigh or slightly up your girlfriends dress at dinner? I never knew people were still so goddamn uptight. Not all restaurants have kids (we actually purposely seek bars/restaurants that don't) and Im sure the entire point of public foreplay is making sure you're subtle and no ones watching. When he stood up his parents, if they even noticed, probably just thought he left his zipper down on accident, not the end of the world OP.

MidnightMusic53 37

Tuesday 24 December 2013 6:55

If you could freaking read, you would understand why. She said she was about to put her hand IN his boxers. In other words, she was planning on stroking him right there in the restaurant. She wasn't just unzipping his fly, if that was the case, I doubt she would have went and posted an FML.