Sex, Awkward and Love: Hand shandy

Hand shandy

By cdoyle - 08/04/2009 12:32 - Canada

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 518

You deserved it 110 708

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 891

You deserved it 4 986

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 480

You deserved it 29 023

By ohcrap - 28/09/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 055

You deserved it 4 604

Why would you do that?

By Sam - 23/11/2009 01:35 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 112

You deserved it 29 802

By highlandgirl10 - 21/07/2010 20:31 - Canada

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 104

You deserved it 6 230

And I oop

By SuperBunny - 20/04/2009 07:59 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 62 047

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 136

You deserved it 1 458

By Username - 27/06/2011 08:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 493

You deserved it 7 767

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 048

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 055

You deserved it 5 470

checkyesbecca 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 20:14

And you would be doing this at a public restaurant? You deserved it, don't be so stupid next time.

e86 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 20:17

I hope you intended on washing your hands before eating.

Comments

Demon_fml 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:11

It said it was after they ordered so they were obviously out to eat...and why would you order before everyone got there? this sounds like something i would do to my boyfriend except not with parents with friends or something...sexual acts in public are fun cuz you might get caught and even more fun to watch the face as they try to hide it...

blargle 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:12

#48: "After we ordered..." She also "went to dinner", not "had dinner with" - implying they went out in public.

923927 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:12

why would you do that in a restaurant of all places?!?!

tomorrowbroadway 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:12

#48, Who do you usually order from when you eat dinner at your house?

Kiquick 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:14

That's so kinky!! I love it! Lol =p

DeadMansCrack 4

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:14

YOU ARE A *****. A DIRTY STREETWALKING VENEREAL-DISEASE CARRYING *****. YOU COMPLETELY DESERVE THIS YOU SEX-ADDICTED HOOKER!!!

djse 8

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:18

Well, your heart was in the right place. A+ for effort, D- for execution.

FoundManyLemons 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:19

You were in a public restaurant, YDI. He should have stopped you though.

ciao_bella12 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:20

why the hell would you do that in the middle of a restaurant anyway?

britt030209 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 21:21

This situation reminds me of "American Wedding" when Jim is planning on proposing and forgets the ring. Jim texts his dad to bring him the ring. Michelle gets under the table to mess around. Dad shows up, thinks she's in the bathroom and says "I got the ring." She hears him and hits her head on the table! Lol.