Intimacy: Handy

Handy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 909

You deserved it 11 994

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Same thing different taste

Can't talk right now

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 08:01 - Canada

Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 611

You deserved it 672

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 18 372

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 794

You OK hun?

By notexactly - 29/12/2009 00:48 - Sweden

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 148

You deserved it 3 338

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 477

You deserved it 764

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 773

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 327

You deserved it 68 710

Thanks!

By uh-oh - 21/07/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 122

You deserved it 30 923

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 361

You deserved it 667

guy_whos_sad 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 23:31

The situation........ *puts on cool glasses" ......at hand. YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Sunday 6 March 2011 23:27

Awkwarddd!!

Comments

Howbadifail 1

Monday 7 March 2011 3:30

Today, i finally kissed the girl that i've had a crush on for 5 years and she gave me mono. FML.

meintx 9

Monday 7 March 2011 3:51

Lol, your girlfriend is totally awesome. That was so wicked lol.

Watsupmypeople 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:01

You are beautiful.

Watsupmypeople 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:04

I'll talk if u want to.

Watsupmypeople 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:06

i wish I had an awesome gf.

Watsupmypeople 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:12

sorry for all the replies my friends gate me lol.

Scalabrine44 0

Monday 7 March 2011 3:51

Cum conditioner is my favorite!!!

penguinbby993 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:09

why are you complaining? you got away with it.

beastin34 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:33

why is ur mom talking to u while u in the shower tho?

dantheman101 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:39

Oh man. F your life man, a handjob and a shower? I feel your pain.

Thedrugslikeme2 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:39

What would make it more awkward is if your girl friend got into the conversation as well. XD

Thedrugslikeme2 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:42

What would make it more awkward is if your girl friend got into the conversation as well. XD

sweetgirl13 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:46

it's called a door. LOCK IT dummy!

KeNzLe13 0

Monday 7 March 2011 13:32

She wasn't in the bathroom, idiot! -_-

undeadqueen528 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:52

you idiots can you not read it's says she walked past the bathroom door!! that dosnt mean she went in and who cares you got to finish!!

Keywords

Cats Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Music Social Media Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk Alcohol Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, I noticed I spend most of my day translating French, German, and other languages for my boss, as he talks to people overseas. As his assistant I make crap money. If I were promoted to a Translator I’d make a lot more. He won’t promote me. In fact he threatened to fire me if I asked again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 113

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 465

You deserved it 13 482

The Top

Today, my wax appointment cancelled on me, we’re supposed to be going to Hawaii in the morning and now I can’t wear a bikini because my stomach and back are hairier than my husband's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 484

You deserved it 474

Today, I was on Craigslist looking for a new guitar. I found the diamond earrings and necklace set I gave to my girlfriend last year. She wants 50 bucks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 638

You deserved it 2 564

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 963

You deserved it 2 166

Today, my mom got mad at me because I wouldn't write to Ellen Degeneres about her. She now won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 691

You deserved it 3 242

Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 824

You deserved it 4 037

Today, my mom argued with me that I should have went to an emergency room a further 18 minutes away from me, during a near fatal allergic reaction, so I would've received "better care." FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 82

Same thing different taste

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