Intimacy: Handy

Handy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 886

You deserved it 11 984

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Same thing different taste

Can't talk right now

By Anonymous - 03/07/2021 08:01 - Canada

Today, while I was getting a blowjob from my girlfriend in the shower, my mom stood outside the door the whole time, asking me about my day. My girlfriend never stopped going, and my mom, who was unaware that my girl was with me in the shower, is now getting me tested for speech impairment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 667

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 805

You deserved it 18 370

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 789

You OK hun?

By notexactly - 29/12/2009 00:48 - Sweden

Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened, I slipped and fell in the shower, and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered, "Well, she's masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 142

You deserved it 3 336

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 466

You deserved it 763

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 769

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 818

You deserved it 37 522

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 325

You deserved it 68 700

Thanks!

By uh-oh - 21/07/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 120

You deserved it 30 920

Late reaction

By fuck - 22/01/2020 14:00 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 357

You deserved it 665

guy_whos_sad 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 23:31

The situation........ *puts on cool glasses" ......at hand. YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Sunday 6 March 2011 23:27

Awkwarddd!!

Comments

Howbadifail 1

Monday 7 March 2011 3:30

Today, i finally kissed the girl that i've had a crush on for 5 years and she gave me mono. FML.

meintx 9

Monday 7 March 2011 3:51

Lol, your girlfriend is totally awesome. That was so wicked lol.

Watsupmypeople 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:01

You are beautiful.

Watsupmypeople 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:04

I'll talk if u want to.

Watsupmypeople 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:06

i wish I had an awesome gf.

Watsupmypeople 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:12

sorry for all the replies my friends gate me lol.

Scalabrine44 0

Monday 7 March 2011 3:51

Cum conditioner is my favorite!!!

penguinbby993 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:09

why are you complaining? you got away with it.

beastin34 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:33

why is ur mom talking to u while u in the shower tho?

dantheman101 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:39

Oh man. F your life man, a handjob and a shower? I feel your pain.

Thedrugslikeme2 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:39

What would make it more awkward is if your girl friend got into the conversation as well. XD

Thedrugslikeme2 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:42

What would make it more awkward is if your girl friend got into the conversation as well. XD

sweetgirl13 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:46

it's called a door. LOCK IT dummy!

KeNzLe13 0

Monday 7 March 2011 13:32

She wasn't in the bathroom, idiot! -_-

undeadqueen528 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:52

you idiots can you not read it's says she walked past the bathroom door!! that dosnt mean she went in and who cares you got to finish!!

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The Top

Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 987

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs TV room. Just as he was about to come, I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door right as he came. I didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 057

You deserved it 41 807

The Top

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

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You deserved it 44

Today, I bought a brand new TV that cost a pretty penny. I took it home and it had a defect. After a lot of arguing, I was able to exchange the TV for another one. I got it home and it worked amazing. Later on, we had a bad rainstorm, which flooded my room and screwed up not only my new TV, but my PS5, Xbox, and laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 167

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 628

You deserved it 2 978

Today, I realized just how small and boring my life has become when the highlight of my week was an "epic quest" to the edge of the lockdown limit, to visit the only store with my favorite toothpaste. They didn't even have any in stock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 152

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend, only while I was down there I noticed he had an ungodly amount of dick cheese under his foreskin. He’s now mad at me for blueballing him, even though he’s clearly the one at fault for being a filthy pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 391

You deserved it 397

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 738

You deserved it 2 431

Same thing different taste

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