Happy Valentine's Day

By henhouse - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Brunswick East

Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 576
You deserved it 3 828
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

MikaykayUnicorn 36

"Prepare for take off."

425 5
pizzafrommars 14

Lemme tell a similar story. Happened about an hour ago. I attempted to lose my virginity to the most beautiful girl on earth. Couldn't get it up.

175 15

Comments

chaseafterwind82 29

Sounds like the pilot bailed out before the flight even left the runway...

25 3
chuchusheep 19

it just gets better from here. two people losing their virginity to each other is normally super awkward. could just be he said that cause he was nervous.

14 2
hkhan24 23

Looks like the pilot is very trigger happy, he shot his missiles a bit too quick..

19 2
Xion0014 20

And you're annoyed that he was completely turned on by you? Girls who complain about guys ejaculating too fast are annoying. It's sexy and say they're that turned on. If you wanted to finish first, stick with oral. Guys never last long especially if they're also a virgin. Also if he was uncircumcised it wouldn't haven taken long. Tell him to give you oral after he's done next time to let you finish.

7 19
Oh_My_Gosh_015 4

For girls it's not only about having an ******, it's about being close and enjoying the experience. Him finishing after two thrusts was kind of disappointing because she probably enjoyed it and it didn't live up to her expectations. It's really irritating when guys complain about girls complaining

29 4
Oh_My_Gosh_015 4

When they were simply enjoying the act. Ironic isn't it?

10 2
DjeePee 24

And having sex for less than a minute isn't annoying, ofcourse. Oh yes, I can imagine how one must truly feel sexually fulfilled, both physical and emotional, after getting two thrusts from your beloved one. That's definitely more rewarding than masturbating.

17 3
theaaxis 27

Finishing early is better than not at all, but we're still allowed to be disappointed over a session being cut short...

16 2
Xion0014 20

For girls? Or for you? I'm a girl soo...

0 10
MandieL 27

My husband hates it when he finishes too fast. It's just not as enjoyable for him. Part of the experience is actually getting to be intimate with me, pump, pump, done is not all that intimate. For the first time I understand, but it's not necessarily because the guy was super turned on, but because he was inexperienced. I don't mind a quicky when we need it, they can be hot. But sometimes I like a little more intimacy (as does My husband)

13 1
lovelockdown23 23

first off the point of the fml is his comment that he made. secondly you're a female who obviously is in a very disappointing intimate situation. the fact that you've made excuses for someone finishing after two thrusts says that you've talked yourself into feeling that it's because he thinks that you're undeniably sexy and can't help it. lmfao that is terribly sad. OP it gets better and there are things that can be done to help him last longer. He'll get better over time. Do not listen to this nonsense of women should be happy not being satisfied.

8 2
Xion0014 20

Uh i guess you guys don't believe in second rounds... Lmao

2 1
Xion0014 20

Yea.. You wouldn't know that. My sex life is pretty fantastic. People just aren't creative anymore it seems.

1 1
kalbrek009 20

That when foreplay & possibly after play/cuddling/snuggling works into the equation, when you want more intimacy. The actual act itself isn't the only way to be intimate.

0 1
mrut92 17

Well coming from a guys point of view.....if it was his first time, it can be very awkward, scary, embarrassing, and stressful simply because the way a **** driven society has painted the picture of sex to kids. While it does suck op only got a few seconds her first time it only gets better and so will he if he tries. The biggest part is to calm your nerves and enjoy it. My first time I was so nervous that it ruined it but like I said it only gets better and 99% of people's first isn't that great if they're being truthful.

0 1