Hospital and Work: Hard pass

Hard pass

By Mew - 04/06/2009 12:07 - United States

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 232

You deserved it 4 087

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Same thing different taste

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 801

You deserved it 350

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a paramedic when my patient's colostomy bag exploded all over me. I was covered in fecal matter, with 5 hours left on my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 768

You deserved it 2 494

Pleased to meet you

By Anonymous - 12/04/2009 19:41 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 537

You deserved it 4 938

By Will - 21/02/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I had food poisoning. I spent all day on the can. I also had a bucket to throw up into at the same time. I was sick out of both ends, at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 207

You deserved it 2 769

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 271

You deserved it 3 445

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

By FML - 12/11/2009 07:14 - United States

Today, I held a container while a patient tried to throw up in it. She missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 425

You deserved it 3 283

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 96

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

By cedechan - 29/09/2012 04:08 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got food poisoning at work. I had my head in the toilet when the auto flush decided to turn on. The force of the flush was so powerful half of what I threw up splashed back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 728

You deserved it 2 480

DarkMirror 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 20:08

o.O I think the only thing you can say in that situation is "Oh shit!"

yer_maw 1

Thursday 4 June 2009 20:03

SCORE!!!! ahaha kiddin on, that's disgusting

Comments

fanstasia 5

Friday 5 June 2009 4:08

Yeah... FYL. However, I think your poor patient has you beat. Regurgitating poo... I feel a simpathy gag coming on.

chronicboom 0

Friday 5 June 2009 4:28

@214 what kind of doctor gets shit on everyday???

eric780 0

Friday 5 June 2009 4:33

Man thats a FTL

ElleEnvy 0

Friday 5 June 2009 4:46

Gross but thats what happens some times. Get used to disgusting things if you want to continue in the medical profession

coldglass 0

Friday 5 June 2009 4:54

Omfg that's terrible!

alycatbebe 0

Friday 5 June 2009 4:57

Just think how bad the patient feels, I'm sure u will be ok.

summer66_fml 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:01

ewwww f your life & hers.......shes probably so embarrassed (& add that to feces entering your stomach!!)

freeseamen 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:16

Where the **** did it hit you? Sorry for being a potty mouth rotfl

suri23 11

Friday 5 June 2009 5:24

Damn!

kevo17 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:37

Well U know what they say, it tastes better the 2nd time around

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The Top

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 258

Today, someone burgled my hotel room. As always, I had locked my passport, extra cash, and other valuables in the closet safe, so I thought the losses would be superficial. What a discovery that the safe hadn't been fastened to the closet shelf, so the thief just picked it up and took it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 118

You deserved it 3 104

The Top

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 746

You deserved it 56 004

Today, my vegan girlfriend openly admitted that she'd let me die if she had to choose between saving my life or an animal's. She actually seemed confused as to why that upset me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 886

You deserved it 4 405

Today, my son and I attended my mother's funeral. It was the first time he'd been to such an event, so to ease his grief and distract him, I turned on Max and Ruby when we got home. He quickly broke into tears; apparently, it was the episode where Max and Ruby prepare their grandma a special birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 142

You deserved it 5 061

Today, I've been married for six months, my husband and I are in our early twenties, and not only does he have absolutely no interest in any kind of sexual act with me, he actually becomes angry and irritated when I try to come on to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 251

Today, my thighs started chafing 3 hours before the end of my work shift. Now they burn no matter what I do. I still have an 8-hour shift tomorrow and I can barely walk. To make it worse, my mom's only words of advice involved me losing weight so it "doesn't happen again". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 636

You deserved it 895

Today, I had a second date with a really hot guy I met at the mall. Lucky for me, I went into anaphylactic shock from shrimp and the guy called my parents. When I left the hospital, I was notified that after he called my parents, he ordered more food and charged it to my credit card on file. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 901

You deserved it 1 652