Intimacy: He's got the moves

He's got the moves

By beccav23 - 25/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 395

You deserved it 7 497

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

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Same thing different taste

You want a piece of me?

By littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 124

You deserved it 449

Felt cute, might delete later

By nopanties - 04/03/2013 05:11 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 856

You deserved it 6 454

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 510

You deserved it 6 490

You rang?

By thathurt500x - 26/06/2020 20:08

Today, my boyfriend's tooth got caught on my nipple ring and ripped it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 573

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 431

You deserved it 26 500

By Lilah - 19/02/2012 00:29 - Canada

Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 915

You deserved it 19 543

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 082

You deserved it 7 640

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 898

You deserved it 37 464

By fuck my arse - 08/08/2013 22:15 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 511

You deserved it 19 562

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 529

Blackmail111 9

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:02

He's climbin in yo windows..snatchin yo people up

Bblock 5

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:03

Hmm i wonder why he wanted your ass crack numb....

Comments

InvisibleMonster_fml 16

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:42

#41 Lmfaooooo

Toxic_Ninja 2

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:56

He probably cracked up, but he has a shitty sence of humor

heyred 11

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:58

Was that supposed to be sexy?!

Klur0 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 3:00

Bet you were assking for it

tdub10 2

Wednesday 26 October 2011 3:22

Lol... Thong are over rated anyways. Boy shorts are way hotter on chicks.

GypsyRover 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 3:33

U should stop wherein panties altogether. ;-)

catseventhst 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:08

That's cool.

ptsportsguy1 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:37

corrinalee3 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:39

Personally if it was me it would be a major turn on if it didn't hurt or it didn't go up my ass u should be used to it if u wear thongs. WEDGY WORLD

bobleheadNS 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:49

Don't be so damn hot then OP.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Wednesday 26 October 2011 5:03

How can you not be hot if you already are?

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The Top

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 285

You deserved it 2 778

Today, I stretched really hard when I woke up, only to feel something twang. This was followed by a really sharp pain. Thinking I'd given myself a hernia, I got up to check myself in the mirror, and was repulsed by the bulge I saw hanging out of my gut. Then I realised it was just my own flab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 080

You deserved it 40 526

The Top

Today, 2 years into our relationship, my boyfriend's parents still have no idea about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 293

You deserved it 4 613

Today, I was looking at my best friend because I zoned out, I then turned around to look at my dog. When I looked back, he was on one knee, saying that, “This is terrible timing but I’ve always loved you, will you marry me?” Two days before my wedding with my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 562

You deserved it 185

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, we were trying this strawberry flavored lube which had a very strong candy smell. My husband starts laughing mid-performance, looks me in the eye, and exclaims "F*CK THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 848

You deserved it 1 302

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 512

You deserved it 25 321

Today, after spending over a year getting clean and sober, I started feeling horrible withdrawal symptoms and couldn't understand why. It turns out my wife had been dosing my food with Adderall "to keep me on track" and just stopped. So much for my anniversary chip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 130

You deserved it 316

Today, I was at a gas station when I got a bad stomach ache. I clenched my cheeks together and rushed to the nearest bathroom. Twenty minutes and a clogged toilet later, I exited the one-person bathroom to a line of very angry women. I had run into the wrong restroom. One of them threw a tampon at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 418

You deserved it 1 666