Intimacy: He's got the moves - FML

He's got the moves

By beccav23 - 25/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 394

You deserved it 7 497

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

You want a piece of me?

By littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 124

You deserved it 449

Felt cute, might delete later

By nopanties - 04/03/2013 05:11 - United States - Durham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 855

You deserved it 6 454

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 509

You deserved it 6 490

You rang?

By thathurt500x - 26/06/2020 20:08

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's tooth got caught on my nipple ring and ripped it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 002

You deserved it 573

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 431

You deserved it 26 500

By Lilah - 19/02/2012 00:29 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 914

You deserved it 19 543

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Spicy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 081

You deserved it 7 640

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 896

You deserved it 37 463

By fuck my arse - 08/08/2013 22:15 - United Kingdom - Reading

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 510

You deserved it 19 562

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 528

Next

Top comments

Blackmail111 9

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:02

He's climbin in yo windows..snatchin yo people up

Bblock 5

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:03

Hmm i wonder why he wanted your ass crack numb....

Comments

TheIllusionist 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 5:59

XD Guess who's not getting anal haha :)

jack_tells_truth 0

Friday 28 October 2011 7:36

You dated him, you deserve it. Hope you learned your lesson, try to find a decent guy with at least average level intelligence next time

noooodlez 2

Tuesday 1 November 2011 2:31

lol can't stop laughing.

asianpersuasian2 9

Tuesday 1 November 2011 3:21

OW! Thats why you shouldn't wear thongs. They're not even attractive.

psyonomega 4

Monday 7 November 2011 13:24

That made me laugh so hard. Sorry about that though

vcolvin 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 6:17

Hahahahaha that was hilarious XD

Allyrocks113000 0

Saturday 31 December 2011 3:47

Wow, at least your boyfriend is passionate..... But maybe you should stop wearing things for a little while

SwagggTastic 0

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:02

Sounds like "ANAL TONIGHT!"

Lucky7Samson 10

Monday 15 April 2013 1:21

Going in dry.

sugarbear0727 19

Monday 24 June 2013 5:54

Lmfao. My boyfriend has done that before. Though he took it in both hands and ripped it off that way. It was one of my favorites, so I wasn't too happy, but there wasn't anything I could've done.

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The Top

Today, I told my husband that I missed how exciting it was when we were dating, so he pretended to sneak into my room through the window, we had sex, then fell asleep. All very exciting. Then the bastard actually snuck out while I was still asleep, and didn’t call me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 622

Today, I learned that every podcast bro is a fucking liar and a vile hypocrite. Men seem to like me, but the minute I tell them I’m a virgin and saving myself for marriage, suddenly they’re gone faster than a spooked horse. What happened to the low/no body count, huh boys?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 420

The Top

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 810

You deserved it 16 574

Today, I'm pregnant. So far, I have been criticized about 20 times for “making poor choices.” Not only did we use a condom, I’m also on the pill, and have an IUD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 197

Today, my girlfriend said to me, "You know, you only have to wash 3 times a week to be clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 541

You deserved it 7 839

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 431

You deserved it 4 894

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 615

You deserved it 646

Today, I was walking out of a bar when someone grabbed me by the throat, and slammed me against a wall, saying "Stop fooling around with my wife, because next time - I'll kill you." I'm gay and haven't been with a woman since 1985. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 477

You deserved it 7 058