Intimacy: He's got the moves - FML

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He's got the moves

By beccav23 - 25/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 411

You deserved it 7 499

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Same thing different taste

You want a piece of me?

By littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 130

You deserved it 450

Felt cute, might delete later

By nopanties - 04/03/2013 05:11 - United States - Durham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 869

You deserved it 6 458

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 520

You deserved it 6 492

You rang?

By thathurt500x - 26/06/2020 20:08

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's tooth got caught on my nipple ring and ripped it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 012

You deserved it 578

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 446

You deserved it 26 532

By Lilah - 19/02/2012 00:29 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 924

You deserved it 19 543

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Spicy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 090

You deserved it 7 650

By megaladon - 28/06/2010 08:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 919

You deserved it 37 478

By fuck my arse - 08/08/2013 22:15 - United Kingdom - Reading

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 521

You deserved it 19 565

Beauty standards

By Anonymous - 08/05/2023 03:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 534

Next

Top comments

Blackmail111 9

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:02

He's climbin in yo windows..snatchin yo people up

Bblock 5

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:03

Hmm i wonder why he wanted your ass crack numb....

Comments

tinkerbellwhore 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:06

I can come give it a nice little massage with my hand and tongue;)

mrwiggles5422 4

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:10

is it numb from his ripping it off or from the bum pounding he gave you right after it came off? >:)

pookberry 4

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:25

Not at all

Hoarebag 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:27

Lol at 3, they rapin' errybody up in here...

sicnesses 6

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:32

Well he is a major *puts on sunglasses* PAIN IN THE ASS!!!!!!

Zomg_Okay 26

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:34

Much like yourself, then.

sicnesses 6

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:51

:D

mrbendystraw 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 17:18

YYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH

1JDub 6

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:45

Maybe he was preparing u for illegal entry...

bubo_fml 10

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:51

Take him to Victoria's Secret to replace your panties...He'll be more level headed about succumbing to his passions next time!

fangbanger_kitty 10

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:23

That's why you shouldn't wear thongs. They make your ass look flabby, and can give you a yeast infection. Gross! No one wants that.

schmelia 10

Wednesday 26 October 2011 1:23

G-strings (or thongs, as you guys say) won't give you thrush. Wearing any kind of synthetic underwear can increase the likelihood of getting it, but g-strings no more so than other styles of underwear.

kmaeh 8

Wednesday 26 October 2011 2:46

G-strings and thongs are two different things, thongs are much more flattering!

iluvcrazipepl 9

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:24

Wow ok then… guess he didn't get anything then.

toxicanxiety 0

Wednesday 26 October 2011 0:34

Ouch !

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The Top

Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 1 029

Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 140

The Top

Today, I smoked weed with my girlfriend and we ordered some Chinese food. I was too high to open the box and she watched me struggle for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 666

Today, my cat tried to look out my bedroom window. To do so, she tried to stand on my air conditioner. She was unsuccessful in that endeavor, almost knocking my TV over and fucking up the side panel. Now there's an opening in my window that I can't close up. Guess I'll take the AC out and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 128

Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 139

You deserved it 5 605

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 352

You deserved it 18 657

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love in the backseat. Being in the moment we didn't notice the car moving. We DID notice the pole that stopped us though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 176

You deserved it 37 200

Today, I learned that my boyfriend is cheating on me with not one, not two, but nine girls. How he did it, I don't even know. How I found out? I was coming into my room to surprise him for his birthday and saw him having a threesome. We have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 061

You deserved it 490