Pranks, Parents, Injury, Dad jokes and Health: Headshot

Headshot

By suhleedah18 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 358

You deserved it 2 745

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Bat out of hell

By my dad is blind as shit - 03/02/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, my dad asked to borrow my glasses to look for his glasses. He then took them off because they were extremely tight on his head, and gave them back to me. Then he turned around and walked into a wall. I sure hope my eyes don't get that bad, although they probably will by the time I'm 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 701

You deserved it 148

By failedmusician - 03/06/2009 10:06 - New Zealand

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 714

You deserved it 59 057

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 21:59 - New Zealand

Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 202

You deserved it 6 720

The pirate look

By Anonymous - 13/11/2008 03:01 - France

Today, I scratched my cornea and have to wear a large bandage covering my eye. I'm off today, but I'll probably have to wear it to school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 063

You deserved it 5 977

By zoearcu - 17/04/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 880

You deserved it 3 522

By ke - 29/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 855

You deserved it 30 874

Headshot

By Anonymous - 26/07/2021 14:01

Today, I was putting on my sweatpants and accidentally stepped on the elastic drawstring. I moved my foot. The string snapped upward with great speed and hit me in my open eye. My eyeball is not happy with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 119

By huwauw - 17/09/2010 20:33 - United States

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 990

You deserved it 7 336

By blindedbyOCD - 03/09/2018 01:30

Today, I accidentally poked myself in the left eye. As I sat there in pain, my 9-year-old nephew, who we think has OCD, decided to help out by poking me in the right eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 952

You deserved it 268

I guess that's why they call it an intravitreal injection

By Anonymous - 13/02/2021 08:02

Today, the eye doctor told me I only had 90% vision on my left eye, and asked if I wanted treatment. Not being terribly bothered by it, I asked what the treatment would consist of. "We'll stick a large needle in your eye, and pump in some medicine." I quickly wished him a pleasant day and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 205

saIty 17

Monday 19 December 2011 12:05

The names Bond... Rubber man Bond...

imustbeinsane 2

Monday 19 December 2011 12:12

Now you have to make him look like a pirate too! Cut off his hand

Comments

MotherHen88 4

Monday 19 December 2011 14:10

BOOM Head Shot

SabyLuvsYuu 1

Monday 19 December 2011 14:57

Well that's an eye opener... Oh wait...

Dcm210 19

Monday 19 December 2011 15:17

your dad loves you very much,Merry Christmas.

bshawndes1 0

Monday 19 December 2011 15:21

Haha fyl

GizmoeJoe92 0

Monday 19 December 2011 15:54

my dear boyfriend did this and I now have to conceal the scar below my right eye.

iRiS890 5

Monday 19 December 2011 23:49

You were scarred by a rubber band? As awful as it sounds, that's kind of impressive. It's difficult to get that kind of power...

elenarox 1

Monday 19 December 2011 15:59

ahaha. 28, u made my day :D

sjhill 32

Monday 19 December 2011 16:04

Wow. Nice!

XDBrittany1228 0

Monday 19 December 2011 16:30

my dad shot me in the eye with a nerf gun once. it was accident, but it didn't feel good.

linkinpark98 23

Monday 19 December 2011 16:39

Lol looks like Dad made a dick move.

Calyx_fml 21

Monday 19 December 2011 16:48

Aaarrrrg maytee.

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You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 3 941

The Top

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 960

You deserved it 6 539

Today, I got kicked out of my band by the guy who quit two weeks ago. The bad part? Everyone else agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 767

You deserved it 4 350

Today, my boyfriend sits in an empty apartment, complaining about it being a rat hole. HE picked the place, HE refuses my help to decorate, as well as my offer to get his stuff from the old place, and yes, he could totally afford something better. But sure, his life is shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 186

Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 514

Today, I got into THE party of the year. Too bad it was the party my daughter was throwing while her father and I were out of town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 223

You deserved it 5 599

Today, at the awards ceremony at my school, I ended up winning the top achievement award in my grade. The principal spent at least ten minutes talking about my success to the audience, the whole time referring to me as a "he" as I stood right next to him. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 554

You deserved it 5 491

Headshot

Same thing different taste

Bat out of hell

The pirate look

Headshot

I guess that's why they call it an intravitreal injection

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