Sex, Gamers and Intimacy: Headshot! - FML

Headshot!

By Amb - 01/06/2010 23:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 073

You deserved it 6 199

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 545

You deserved it 6 494

By Noname - 16/02/2009 00:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 045

You deserved it 10 600

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Spicy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 250

You deserved it 32 739

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 5 766

A good grunting

By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 13:06 - United States - Tampa

Spicy

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 272

You deserved it 4 079

By atleasthelistened - 09/03/2016 08:04 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 547

You deserved it 2 451

By Hannah - 21/12/2010 17:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 061

You deserved it 7 909

By The_Life - 12/10/2016 13:26 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and things were getting heated when he got a call from one of his mates wanting to play Counter Strike. Next thing I know, I'm laying in bed by myself listening to him rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 063

You deserved it 1 282

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 747

You deserved it 456

Heated gaming moment

By Anonymous - 26/11/2014 19:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 140

You deserved it 6 808

Next

Top comments

shakenbake93 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 12:10

There's really no difference between the two so I don't see why you care that much.

Ducati4623 0

Thursday 3 June 2010 1:46

so he shouts "**** off you 8 year old little camping noob tubing prick" in bed? - that's pretty weird or winning would be more like "**** off I'm 1 off harriers" - again kinda strange I guess

Comments

Acms 12

Tuesday 16 August 2016 0:27

******* HITMARKER!!!

Shenadren 9

Tuesday 20 June 2017 7:25

Well, both end with a really good shot...?

wickedgetz 30

Friday 7 July 2017 22:39

That's a good thing... atleast you know he is enjoying it

raganerus 17

Friday 23 November 2018 9:51

he calls you a noob and yells "BOOM HEADSHOT" ?

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

The Top

Today, as a going away present after five years of military service and one combat tour, the hospital scheduled me for a prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 040

You deserved it 4 005

Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 438

You deserved it 4 479

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my phone there and had got a text from a guy saying, "Hi, how have you been?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 542

You deserved it 8 966

Today, I started my new job at a small business. I was pretty excited to finally be working, until I found out the big boss is a creeper and sees no problem making comments such as "You're way more interesting than the rest of these slope-eyed fucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 857

You deserved it 1 672

Today, my parents went on holiday less than two hours ago. They’re probably still in the airport, and not even on the plane yet. In those two hours I spilled milk on dad's armchair, broke a door handle off a kitchen cupboard, and stepped on and broke the cat's tail so I’m now in the vet's waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 551

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 161

You deserved it 7 587