Awkward and Work: Heimlich

Heimlich

By Macdaddy - 05/12/2008 12:49 - France

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 032

You deserved it 3 482

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Same thing different taste

By negativesoup - 10/11/2016 18:44

Today, I was eating chicken noodle soup for my lunch. It was perfect until the last bite when it went down the wrong pipe. Choking, I coughed up what I'd already eaten. In front of my coworkers, and all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 297

You deserved it 809

Choked

By embarrassing - 15/07/2021 18:01

Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 162

Emergency

By swaiteATC - 28/07/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the break room at work eating lunch when I started to choke. My face turned red and tears began welling up in my eyes. Two of my coworkers were there. They began to argue over who would have to give me the Heimlich maneuver rather than helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 333

You deserved it 2 666

By SMS123 - 25/06/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 482

You deserved it 4 789

By foxyreegan - 04/02/2012 05:22 - United States

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 921

You deserved it 3 417

By f*ck - 06/03/2015 17:41 - Australia - Reynella

Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my Pop-Tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 758

You deserved it 19 740

By fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 665

You deserved it 3 572

Clogged

By ISmellBread - 15/12/2023 05:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 254

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 952

You deserved it 365

Coming and going

By Kristat - 01/04/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 795

You deserved it 3 392

Kulawend 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 23:36

I think it's pretty messed up they didn't try and give you the heimlich or something...

cookieinc 0

Friday 13 March 2009 5:52

hey who cares wut ur bosses thought breathing is much more important

Comments

sodahhhr 0

Monday 17 August 2009 17:16

#34 that was the FUNNIEST COMMENT EVER LMAOOOOROLFFL too bad I deliteid it (: DX

pulpfiction_fml 3

Friday 21 August 2009 8:39

YDI for giving your bosses blow jobs in public. Save that shit for later, in their office, with the door locked, like any sane person trying to get a raise a little more quickly would. Also, if that's how you're gonna impress them, learn to do it properly. And don't impress them too much, or they'll give you more work than you can swallow.

apedosmil 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 23:14

#13 LOL

happy_animal_lov 0

Monday 14 June 2010 7:31

wow, those bosses must have a crazy high sperm count if she has to chew the cum!

sweetj2 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 3:23

well what else are you gonna do? choke to death???

Liamj774 36

Sunday 1 March 2015 6:51

Well duh, OP just had to be impolite and save their life

Crusheddd 0

Monday 2 November 2009 15:53

wtf how can you excuse yourself to the bathroom while your choking?! It would come out like "I eed ou o oo atoom" wtf?!? Think before you say!

Loosicles 0

Friday 29 January 2010 23:46

YDI for not knowing how to chew.

8WeAreYoung8 4

Monday 16 April 2012 23:48

You don't have to chew excellently to prevent choking, sometimes when you're laughing, talking or swallowing it just happens.

Compass 0

Thursday 25 February 2010 18:37

You pulled it out with your finger? You could have made it worse. You're supposed to either Heimlich yourself or thrust onto a chair or table in a similar fashion.