Miscellaneous: Help! I need somebody! Anybody!

Help! I need somebody! Anybody!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I called up Verizon Wireless to "complain" about my phone service. I really had nothing to complain about, I was just that lonely that I wanted someone to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 272

You deserved it 31 334

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By lonely loser - 22/08/2014 18:04 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 753

You deserved it 6 785

By lonelynessinCA - 14/03/2011 18:31 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 019

You deserved it 9 785

By LonelyAF - 12/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 407

You deserved it 4 346

By forever alone - 05/05/2019 04:00

Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 845

Forever alone man

By Boyufd - 02/01/2021 08:00

Today, I feel so lonely I talked to the likely scam number that called me. Even then they hung up after 2 minutes of talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 177

Lonely, so lonely

By Gina Marie Lombardi - 31/07/2021 11:01

Today, I realized how lonely I am when someone called my number by mistake and I talked with them for 5 minutes. I don’t know who she was, but I'm so lonely I was happy to have someone engage in a conversation, even if it was about her calling the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 121

By stuff - 16/08/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 672

You deserved it 6 319

Hello?

By Anonymous - 17/07/2024 16:00 - Canada

Today, I butt-dialed my ex-boyfriend while venting to my best friend about how hot but emotionally unavailable he is. I realized this when there was a lull in the conversation and I heard his tinny little voice coming out of the phone, saying, "I can hear you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 498

By Jakeok - 14/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Fraser

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 407

You deserved it 7 635

By Theboredone - 29/03/2018 19:00

Today, after a week on bed rest in a cast after ankle surgery, I got so bored and lonely I agreed to do an hour-long government phone survey just to have someone to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 800

You deserved it 401

albinoV 1

Friday 3 December 2010 14:24

You feel it's OK to annoy people for no good reason, and wonder why you're alone?

GreatGeak 8

Friday 3 December 2010 9:01

fail. it's called facebook and chatrooms.

Comments

Gumbinator 11

Monday 6 December 2010 22:45

kids help phone? That works too...

Teazer13 0

Tuesday 7 December 2010 23:13

happens more than you think. don't beat yourself up about it.

LinzeeNardiello 0

Tuesday 21 December 2010 9:17

awww :(

Purple_pixie 0

Monday 27 December 2010 8:46

Do you wanna be my friend? ;)

awesumnes 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 4:47

Wow... U should talk to AT&T!! :D

beaglegun2009 4

Wednesday 18 July 2012 18:09

Nah they suck.

ifmlftw 0

Friday 1 April 2011 1:25

go to college.

lucy_moff09 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 3:54

call your mum and give her a nice surprise

XCraig 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:29

That's why they invented chatroulette! Just uhh... Skip the people wanking off...

iamcoolyo 5

Friday 18 November 2011 1:25

Well poodles…are kindof mean

Coffeebang 17

Monday 6 February 2012 10:34

Go out more

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Dogs Animals Gamers Ironic Video games Zoom

The Top

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 306

You deserved it 3 563

The Top

Today, the guy I’ve had a crush on for ever declined a date with me to see the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie because he isn’t interested in dating. I decided to go to see the movie on my own. I ran into him at the same screening I went to, all cozied up with another girl. What the hell does she have that I don’t? FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 524

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 175

You deserved it 4 166

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 177

You deserved it 4 187

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 724

You deserved it 2 856

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 071

You deserved it 3 570

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 270

You deserved it 3 090