Dogs and Animals: Help!

Help!

By ukfan - 06/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 570

You deserved it 5 080

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Same thing different taste

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 885

You deserved it 4 202

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 303

By poopEVERYWHERE - 18/09/2009 14:27 - United States

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 965

You deserved it 4 342

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 774

You deserved it 2 674

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 214

By Anonymous - 11/10/2018 17:30

Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 303

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 586

You deserved it 4 595

Top of the mornin' to ya!

By Anonymous Taco Man - 03/08/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 105

By Puppysit88 - 16/04/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 846

You deserved it 9 080

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 681

You deserved it 9 394

PULS3_fml 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:29

sounds like a shitty situation

perdix 29

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:49

A Torpedo of Diarrhea. . . that sounds like a dog toy that didn't really catch on.

Comments

today_fml_wtf 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:39

Why does every FML entry start with "Today,"? It's really effin annoying.

BOBO_CRUNCHY 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:42

shit happens

perdix 29

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:49

A Torpedo of Diarrhea. . . that sounds like a dog toy that didn't really catch on.

MadPercussion 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 4:55

I clicked the like button located on the comment above the comment you are currently reading.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Thursday 7 October 2010 7:20

Aka, the Wrong Kong

shhhh_x0 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:50

why does your username start with today ?

farkie3 8

Thursday 7 October 2010 4:28

...F?

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Thursday 7 October 2010 7:22

I'm guessing you're looking at when this was posted, not the username. It's after midnight my time, so it says "[yesterday] ukfan".

tamie306 5

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:55

there she blows!

nickharbut 6

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:55

Please never use the word torpedo and the word diarhea in the same sentence.

Trollz4daLULZ 1

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:57

YDI for not understanding your dog properly, for keeping that poor dog in captivity, for feeding him microwaved babies and causing food poisoning, and for having a hallway. WTF kind of building has a hallway, anyway? You wackjob.

CitizenSnipz 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 5:15

You're my favorite troll :D

The_Earth 0

Thursday 7 October 2010 0:58

^you just did. and OP, YDI for not being able to read your dog's mind. we planets, can. so why can't you? oh wait, you don't use your full brain capacity.. what a shame..