Intimacy: Hot and heavy

Hot and heavy

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 444

You deserved it 35 592

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 361

You deserved it 28 341

By 504-A1 - 11/05/2012 22:02 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 518

You deserved it 10 417

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 777

You deserved it 15 183

By picturemenakedbaby - 21/07/2009 10:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 974

You deserved it 12 730

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 985

You deserved it 7 876

Phoney sex

By Anonymous - 09/03/2020 08:00

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 254

You deserved it 617

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 286

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 874

You deserved it 4 683

By JRLJLS - 15/04/2013 09:09 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 950

You deserved it 11 522

By Username - 21/12/2010 05:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to have phone sex with him. However, it seems he doesn't quite know what it is, so now he wants me to explain it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 615

You deserved it 4 439

Epsilonyx 15

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:57

I'd assume someone with the name "Lickmylovepump" would be an extremely horny and open minded person.

ILoveMyXbox 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 8:57

Phone sex is awkward and weird in my opinion. I honestly don't blame you for laughing, because I would have to :P

Comments

Dustin_Pedobear 9

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:21

Lick my love pump, eh?

Katja004 6

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:23

I could never take that seriously...I would laugh just as hard as you hahaha.

immaMonsta 8

Thursday 19 January 2012 9:23

Maybe you could've handled it a little better. It was rude of you to just start laughing, you could've just told him in a mature, sophisticated manner. However I do agree with you on one thing, phone sex (in my opinion) is ridiculous and pointless. Hell even though I've never done it, a Skype session would probably be less ridiculous and more intimate than that. I don't think YDI though, just should've handled it better.

nahbean13 3

Friday 20 January 2012 5:35

"In a mature, sophisticated matter." I don't think ridiculous, awkward phone sex requires a sophisticated response. What would've been rude is if she'd said he was creeping her out or being stupid. Giggling isn't that bad.