Animals: I love my family

I love my family

By unloved - 01/10/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, during an argument with my daughter, she screamed, "Everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration, where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 360

You deserved it 6 851

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Same thing different taste

By wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe - 07/08/2013 20:55 - Sweden

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 086

You deserved it 5 696

By CatLover - 06/11/2014 18:30 - United States - Bartow

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 509

You deserved it 2 792

By whymomwhy - 11/07/2015 17:20 - United States - Salem

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 361

You deserved it 2 884

By constantine - 04/02/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 501

You deserved it 3 469

By Anonymous - 14/08/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 522

You deserved it 3 996

Cats pick sides

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 02:00

Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 182

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 972

You deserved it 252 029

Daddy's girl

By TooMuchForToLittle - 06/09/2021 11:00

Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 201

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 185

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 334

iFellytone 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 23:09

Why is your daughter talking to you like that?

Darling_Cherry 5

Thursday 1 October 2009 23:26

Cats don't lie.

Comments

iDx_Undaunted 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 23:32

You've got to kill that cat. haha slow and painful

WorkThatButt 2

Thursday 1 October 2009 23:44

YDI for killing Michael Jackson..

lov3dollbabygirl 0

Friday 2 October 2009 0:01

wow thats depressing pick yur battles in parenting...i suppose that one jus wasnt worth it huh? and than th cat craps on u....still not worth it?

Purplenessa 0

Friday 2 October 2009 0:05

How old are you, seriously??? It's just a CAT!!

amber50 0

Friday 2 October 2009 0:13

LOL ITS A CAT NOT A HUMAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK IT MAY HAVE JUST HAD TO POOP DON'T TRIP

freddie_fml 0

Friday 2 October 2009 0:16

LOL, I love this one.

kremit 1

Friday 2 October 2009 0:16

that means it loves you!

RatIsKing 0

Friday 2 October 2009 0:19

fake. cats don't just take a dump whereever. they ALWAYS use their litter box

CuntFucker 0

Friday 2 October 2009 0:22

STFU they don't always use them. if their litter box is dirty they shit everywhere. OP GET OFF YOUR ASS AND CLEAN IT.

scateice 0

Friday 2 October 2009 0:31

Your daughter is right, you know

CuntFucker 0

Friday 2 October 2009 0:33

**** I JUST LOST THE GAME

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 4 050

Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 475

You deserved it 105

The Top

Today, when I was visiting my dad in the ICU, the nurse was trying to help him sit upright and his dick and balls plopped out of his hospital gown for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 154

Today, I was supposed fly from NOLA to Philly. Being a good roommate, I decided to get a noon-time flight so my roommates wouldn't need to get up early. Then I found out that they were also taking separate vacations, and leaving at 5am. Now I'm stuck in the airport till noon and I arrive in Philly at 7pm. I'm also broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 740

Today, after getting my car completely fixed after it being damaged for a year, I was driving and the entire side panel on the car fell off. The repair man forgot to put the screws back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 2 158

Today, one of my best friends and I both got mail. She got her wedding invites to send out; I got my divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 139

Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 559

You deserved it 40 655

Today, I found out I’m going through early menopause. My husband was finally ready to have a baby, after years of debate and saying he’s not ready. I warned him my ovaries wouldn’t hold out forever. He seems shocked that menopause happens to all women and is irreversible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 161