Animals: I love my family

I love my family

By unloved - 01/10/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, during an argument with my daughter, she screamed, "Everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration, where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 360

You deserved it 6 851

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe - 07/08/2013 20:55 - Sweden

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 086

You deserved it 5 696

By CatLover - 06/11/2014 18:30 - United States - Bartow

Today, my mentally-unhinged mother reached a new level of psycho - she threw a tantrum and raged at my father, accusing him of cheating on her with our cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 509

You deserved it 2 792

By whymomwhy - 11/07/2015 17:20 - United States - Salem

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 361

You deserved it 2 884

By constantine - 04/02/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 501

You deserved it 3 469

By Anonymous - 14/08/2011 19:32 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 522

You deserved it 3 996

Cats pick sides

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 02:00

Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 182

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 972

You deserved it 252 029

Daddy's girl

By TooMuchForToLittle - 06/09/2021 11:00

Today, yet again, my 3 year-old daughter came home from a few hours with her father, screams and cries over everything, and when she realizes it won't get her anywhere, screams at me that she hates me and that she wants to go home. I calmly told her she is home, and she screamed, "This is not home!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 201

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 185

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 334

iFellytone 0

Thursday 1 October 2009 23:09

Why is your daughter talking to you like that?

Darling_Cherry 5

Thursday 1 October 2009 23:26

Cats don't lie.

Comments

iamelrebel 0

Friday 2 October 2009 18:00

this is fake. Cats don't do that out in the open, and if it did I doubt you woul just sit there and let it happen.

Pointy130 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 3:44

I love the internet.

Gmarmalade 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 3:52

hahahahaha

Lifelooser_fml 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 7:02

Geez..you cat crapped on your leg!? Dirty. Who lets that happen? It is an outdoor animal.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 7:07

If you said she barfed on you then left, we might have believed. Crapping, no way.

bohler86 2

Saturday 3 October 2009 21:53

that cat must poop quick, because it would be slammed across the room for even trying to poop on me.

AnonyMiss3 0

Saturday 3 October 2009 23:57

liar

iEATdreamsx 0

Sunday 4 October 2009 4:19

I bet the OP enjoyed every second of it. Boys and girls, the FML of this story is that the cat hit it and quit it.

Six_and_the_Moon 3

Sunday 4 October 2009 7:07

So either your cat speed-shat on you, or you sat back and watched it hunker down and slowly shit on you. Or you embellished this to make it work. I'm thinking the latter.