Alcohol, Ironic and Health: I need one - FML

I need one

By j…… - 14/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 616

You deserved it 56 931

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Reeen - 03/06/2016 22:29 - United States - Pittsboro

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 695

You deserved it 1 244

By sober - 10/07/2012 03:40 - United States - Hillsborough

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to stop drinking, since I have been having some problems with alcohol and some of my relatives are alcoholics. He later broke up with me, saying he couldn't be with someone who "chose to be boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 063

You deserved it 3 424

By Drunkard - 08/02/2017 00:54 - United States - Tracy

Today, my boyfriend gave me grief about my drinking. This would be fine, if he were sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 116

You deserved it 794

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 215

By whoababy55 - 21/08/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 450

You deserved it 2 673

On the sauce

By drinkdrankdrunk - 27/09/2013 07:33 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 264

You deserved it 17 921

By drunkboysgf - 21/10/2011 07:39 - Canada

Today, I had to get my boyfriend's mom to help me get my boyfriend in his house because he was so drunk. He broke up with me for getting him in trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 5 231

TW: The final straw

By Anonymous - 04/12/2021 19:58

Today, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend, because his alcohol problem is so bad that he drank his way through an old bottle of Tequila, which belonged to my mum, and that I'd kept after she committed suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 114

Driven to drink

By Anonymous - 23/07/2023 15:00

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying to dispose of several empty alcohol bottles, leading to a discussion how dating me and putting up with my insanity has given him a drinking problem just so he can get through the day. Me catching him seemed to be the wake up call he needed, because he dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 879

By me - 18/05/2011 04:13

Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 919

You deserved it 6 270

Next

Top comments

F0xyTurtle 8

Sunday 14 August 2011 8:52

So maybe you should try to fix your drinking problem...

Jaimegirl 7

Sunday 14 August 2011 9:30

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me due to my abusing animals, my reaction? I punted a kitten off a cliff.

Comments

Nini101 2

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:55

Then you need to stop drinking and if you can't on your own then you need professional help, your only aging your brain everytime you drink.

snowman420 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 0:55

Wow

plippoo 5

Thursday 18 August 2011 3:36

Arthur much?

omg_haha_fyl 0

Thursday 18 August 2011 6:34

Haha drinking is definitely the way to solve your problems good choice;) *massive sarcasm*

Tandycane 5

Saturday 27 August 2011 8:19

You got problems? People seem to start drinking with every stressful thing when they didn't resolve some traumatic issue. Exs) Rape or death in the family Things like that can mess you up.

doc89holliday 3

Monday 26 September 2011 2:22

hell ya go drunks

konstantinos616 17

Friday 11 November 2011 5:16

now I see why he left you

enter_name 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 4:29

it doesnt seem that you learned anything from that lesson. the public school system is effective....

thereseg69 7

Wednesday 8 February 2012 4:25

Good girl. Everyone needs a stiffy

msnyder 6

Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:16

Own up to your problem. It sounds like an addiction or at the very least a coping mechanism. Either take steps to change it or accept it and let it slowly destroy more than just your relationship with your boyfriend.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 651

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 1 008

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 291

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 853

You deserved it 5 106

Today, my girlfriend explained to me that when we have sex regularly, I'm in a noticeably better mood than when we don't have sex. Apparently, that means I'm immature, and she's questioning the value of our relationship. I thought it was normal for sex to make people happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 132

Today, I swear to Christ, I prefer being at work these days, because when I’m at home if it’s not the kids screaming then it’s my wife moaning about nothing, or the dogs whining and barking, or the neighbour coming round to moan about all the noise. Sometimes wish I was bleeding deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 462

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 214

You deserved it 3 758

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 116

You deserved it 3 185