I want Jesus to come inside my heart

By Weirdo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 943
You deserved it 40 869
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Top comments

DocBastard 38

I would tell you to kneel and pray, but I'm afraid you'd get confused while you're down there.

556 19

Comments

RedPillSucks 31

You'd be thrown out of our church since we have a statue of the baby Jesus

10 0
Enslaved 36

Praying to the heavenly body? That's not the *sun they were speaking about. **Wish I didn't have that "Exorcist" crucifix scene playing in my mind. >.

1 0
poccocurantes 7

Eat me! Drink me! Oh wait, that Alice in Wonderland.

2 0
bugmenotmofo 34

Well, I'm sure it is possible to find partner that can share your interests and play jesus with you. Still I think you need to get laid. Or get some relief, at least.

0 1
perdix 29

Rubbing one out in church is against the rules. If only they'd encourage that kind of behavior, they'd get much better attendance and frequent spontaneous calls to God and Jesus.

11 9
bvq25 8

she thought he was a god, obviously.

0 0
Axipiter 24

As I'm reading this, the vote for YDI is 666...

3 1