I want Jesus to come inside my heart

By Weirdo - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy
Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 943
You deserved it 40 869
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Top comments

DocBastard 38

I would tell you to kneel and pray, but I'm afraid you'd get confused while you're down there.

556 19

Comments

Charleybelle 14

I've had to excuse myself a couple times. Not because I thought Jesus was sexy.. But my priest is extremely attractive :(

124 16
lilhellian 26

Was that you, that I heard in the church closet?

66 5
smallshaft 10

I can understand that. There is a gorgeous and sexy nun on here.

68 8
lilhellian 26

Go to to the jogging FML look at comment #20. That's how we know.

17 5
botanistjessica 24

Maybe it's just me but I find 23's comment to be exceedingly creepy.

34 7
LillianLattea 6

#23... I'm a girl.. that is gay.. and I do not find her "sexy" yet "cute". maybe that's just me, but you're creepy.

0 0
misataylor86 10

Seems you need to stay in church... Perhaps catholic.

13 44
Pyapi 20

Well, you were certainly moved by Jesus Christ... Just in a sexual way

39 8
TylerDC 24

your truly crazy about Christ. :-)

6 23
Enslaved 36

"When you call my name it's like a little prayer I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there"

46 7
NoahEibon 11

"In the midnight hour, I can feel your power..."

9 0
Pwuj 6

Now I can't get the song out of my head... ****!!

1 0
madgrinchhatter 12

Never thought about that song being about a ******* before but I hear it now.

7 0
Catkam623 27

I'd tell you to get on your knees and pray for forgiveness but I'm worried about what you'd do while your down there.

16 56
meekthekit 6

Original thought there...

31 2
SenselessPattern 12

Hey now, it was 13 minutes difference. Obviously they both came up with the same thing a the same time, it just took #27 13 minutes longer to reach the 'comment' button.

26 0
Enslaved 36

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart and I will love you (Reminds me of "My Best Friend's Wedding")

10 0
Kog_Hiro 17

You wanted to get... nailed up? Or were you just wanting to witness his miracle touch?

29 9
poodle_juice 17

I guess his image truly touched you.

8 2