Intimacy, Sex and Awkward: Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? - FML

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I sent my fuckbuddy a sexy message about what I wanted to do in bed with him next time we meet. He responded with, "oki doki". FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 472

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Same thing different taste

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

By rileycrash - 20/05/2011 02:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 773

You deserved it 6 908

By Username - 15/06/2011 01:17 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 389

You deserved it 15 738

Talk sexy to me

By fed up/turned off - 02/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Spicy

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 565

You deserved it 6 798

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 964

You deserved it 40 648

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 375

You deserved it 17 913

Hilariously sexy

By Laceylace - 22/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 243

You deserved it 13 232

By yup - 05/06/2011 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 206

You deserved it 57 252

Steamy

By DreeStahr - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Liberty

Spicy

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 128

You deserved it 1 474

By Rejection - 04/05/2010 07:33 - France

Spicy

Today, I sent my boyfriend a naughty pic. I then asked him if there was anything else he wanted before I got dressed. His reply? "No it's fine." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 018

You deserved it 15 645

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 24 August 2023 1:52

Better than "been there, done that."

lalalaila777 24

Thursday 24 August 2023 6:51

a better response would probably come from a romanticly involved partner. **** buddy i believe owes nothing more than a response, not necessarily a kinky one

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Wednesday 23 August 2023 23:35

So, you agree,- good for you!

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 24 August 2023 1:52

Better than "been there, done that."

lalalaila777 24

Thursday 24 August 2023 6:51

a better response would probably come from a romanticly involved partner. **** buddy i believe owes nothing more than a response, not necessarily a kinky one

BurnInDemonFire 34

Thursday 24 August 2023 21:34

Who plans what they're gonna do with a **** buddy? You get naked, put on a condom/in a diaphragm, and go to town. You're supposed to scratch each others' itches, not work your way through the Kama Sutra.

meg436 3

Monday 4 September 2023 0:22

so there’s official rules about f buddy now ? new

1known 30

Sunday 27 August 2023 8:00

It was his way to tell you he wanted you to dress in a lumberjack shirt and maybe a threesome. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about look for Nicole Coenen on youtube (and yes it safe for work).

Marea90h 14

Monday 28 August 2023 22:52

midwesterner, am I right?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 303

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 513

You deserved it 5 324

The Top

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 720

You deserved it 50 110

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 188

You deserved it 2 376

Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 266

You deserved it 5 399

Today, I was getting ready for a very unpleasant doctor's appointment. I got out of the shower and used a new body spray all over my torso and arms. Turns out I'm allergic to it and now my skin is on fire, so now I get to go to an already uncomfortable appointment even more uncomfortable than I'd planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 206

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 789

You deserved it 59 117

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 513

You deserved it 17 453