Embarrassing, Awkward and Kids: It's not what you think

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 438

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Same thing different taste

By notapedobear - 13/01/2011 08:21

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 258

You deserved it 3 287

By jessica - 17/02/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 068

You deserved it 9 527

By gloomy - 15/08/2017 20:00

Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 807

You deserved it 828

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 2 556

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 16:04 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 353

You deserved it 6 817

By kykynevs - 23/08/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 188

You deserved it 2 866

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 328

You deserved it 2 936

By notacreep - 16/05/2009 08:39 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 208

You deserved it 4 074

By Anonymous - 18/01/2011 08:28 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 3 833

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 20:51 - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 107

You deserved it 4 035

Arcterion 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 9:32

Ah, children. Gotta love 'em. But not quite like *that*.

Sinamoi 18

Friday 20 January 2012 3:43

109- I feel like you weren't hugged as a child.

Comments

lrb081 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 19:17

to #4... spank her? are you f'ing serious?! i hope you never breed. ugh.

where_i_stood 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 19:37

"Why are you hitting me daddy?" "Because you said stop in public!" No, seriously people. He shouldn't go hit his kid when she was just telling him to stop. She'd get the wrong impression.

caligirl89 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 19:53

That's gotta suck! You should of pinched her

Otium_fml 3

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:48

...Just beause she says "Don't touch me there", it doesn't have to mean in a perverted way...

ParadoxEngine 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 21:48

The people behind the 'spanking is good' comments: You all seem focused on the consequence of the behaviour, there's little to no thought of the predictor or the function itself. The function of the behaviour is clear to me: escape an undesired tangible sensation by clearly stating "don't touch me there", she didn't want to be tickled at the moment and that is really up to her to decide that as her own person. You would punish your daughter for verbally communicating her dislike at something she deemed unpleasant at the time with physical punishment? ... Yes, smart idea. I am not a bleeding heart who believes that children should not be given a punishment when they behave badly but this isn't a case of behaving badly, not in the least and the people who can twist it to make it so have little to no business breeding. Just remember that behaviours cannot be erased, only replaced with another, and based on your actions as parents it could change from your child voicing their dislike to kicking you and anyone else because you punished them when they attempted verbal communication. Use your mouth first and foremost before using your hands.

ElNegroHombre 0

Friday 17 July 2009 1:01

Even though this doesn't warrant a spanking a good ass whooping never hurt anyone.....long term. I used to get them in like 1st grade and Im fine.

Tamerlan 0

Friday 17 July 2009 3:25

Well........this happens when you live in such paranoid place such as US...the first thing everyone thinks when they hear something like "don't touch me" is a sexual harassment. God bless America...how can such citizens sleep at night... FYL for not living somewhere where people are normal....

tehredbaran 0

Friday 17 July 2009 3:33

Shut the **** up. You probably live in some ******** communist country. FYI, it's not normal to have no freedom. What the **** is everyone's problem with America? Get the **** over it. In case you haven't noticed, immigrants are flooding into our country because THEY WANT TO HAVE A BETTER LIFE. At least the people were concerned and making sure nothing was wrong. I don't see anything wrong with that.

TeenieAmerica 9

Tuesday 1 February 2011 2:58

77 and 78, both of you suck. Go away.

rjw104 0

Friday 7 October 2011 7:14

**** you. Your probably just mad because "a dingo ate your baby"! If our country is so horrible then why did your ancestors come over and create it bitch!!

Molise 0

Friday 17 July 2009 5:06

From the look at all these comments, I must ask...is it the 1800s already? believe or not, kids have rights too and she was merely reacting to not like being tickled. If everyone is gonna be all butt hurt over something like this, I worry about the evolution of society.