Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think… - FML

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 932

You deserved it 158 996

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Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

Zolty 0

Monday 18 May 2009 22:31

lol, are you a furry?

coffeennicotine 0

Monday 18 May 2009 22:42

Umm just because the dog is trying to assert his alpha status doesn't mean you're supposed to act like a dog to do the same thing back. A stern no with the clap of a hand would be sufficient. Weirdo.

lolatflyingducks 0

Monday 18 May 2009 22:44

Wow, you must have been your school's valeDICKtorian.

nevele11 0

Monday 18 May 2009 22:56

That's ******* hysterical, aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkjdfhjsfn; lmfao.

lilyluna_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 22:57

WIN!!! THAT. Was the most BEAUTIFUL thing I have ever heard! hahahahahahahahhahaha! Best FML. EVER!! Epic Win!

yankeessuck2004 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:02

HAHAHHAHAHA LOL

j213_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:05

ydi for humping a dog

tropmignon 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:09

THIS IS LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST THING EVERR i just started laughing so hard that juice came out of my noise and now everyone around me is giving me weird looks.

pepper2394 0

Monday 18 May 2009 23:10

HAHA,Your dog shold have bitten you.

Amandaisdreaming 7

Monday 18 May 2009 23:14

.................... why would you do that?! common sense is to push the dog off, obviously.

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Keywords

Relatable Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Health Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Love Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games

The Top

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 647

You deserved it 1 159

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 698

The Top

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 325

You deserved it 17 381

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124 866

You deserved it 9 169

Today, I got dressed, did my hair, carefully applied my makeup, sprayed myself with perfume, grabbed my bag and put on my coat. I got to the door, and then realised that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do and none of my friends were answering my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 537

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 266

You deserved it 12 896

Today, while grocery shopping, I was having such terrible abdominal pains I could hardly walk. As I'm 8 months pregnant, I told my husband we should head home. He thought a better idea was to run through the store and hide from me, hoping to induce labor by making me chase him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 209

You deserved it 4 391

Today, I saw my new pet fish completely missing the food at the bottom of his tank and sucking up the little rocks instead. My last dog died from eating rocks. I think I'm doomed to have insanely stupid pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 255

You deserved it 1 427