Embarrassing, Dogs, Awkward and Animals: It's not what you think… - FML

It's not what you think…

By sucks - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserts dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said, "How do you like that?" Then my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 932

You deserved it 158 996

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Top comments

MURPHYCHACHO 5

Monday 18 May 2009 9:49

What. The. Hell. Are. You. Smoking?

fueledbyamy 0

Monday 18 May 2009 9:51

thats so wrong, but so ******* hilarious at the same time!

Comments

fmyTINA 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:35

Haven't you ever seen snow dogs? for dominance your supposed to bite them in the ear.

Truffles 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:38

oh my god.. this is hilarious.

Logica42 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:38

What. The. ****.

fermata 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:45

This is the funniest FML I've read in a loooooooooooooooooooong time.

blahblah444 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:49

lmao #12. & #19...so true! your just weird...whether this is true or made up....you still have some serious problems...or are on some serious drugs, so u should probably get off fmylife.com & get some SERIOUS help.

YouMustBe_Joking 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:49

Hahahahhahah that's ******* comic gold.

TheECP 1

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:52

You deserved to get caught, lol

eltravi3so809 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 0:52

lmfaoooo. YDI

Horsegal 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:04

Wow. lol. That is NOT the way to correct a dog!!!!

Shizden 0

Tuesday 19 May 2009 1:11

Kinky... Did your mom join in too?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Awkward Embarrassing Health Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Love Weird Work Dating AITA Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers

The Top

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 666

You deserved it 3 982

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 123

You deserved it 40 855

The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 332

Today, via a situation too complicated to explain, I accidentally cost my boss almost 50,000, on the same day his wife asked for a divorce and his dog died. I’m almost too scared to tell him how I screwed up, in case it sends him completely off the deep end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 273

Today, I learned that when you flush the toilet, the contents do not disappear into oblivion. They show up in your basement when your sewer backs up. And they come in greater numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 635

You deserved it 4 208

Today, I told my dad that I'm pregnant. He shook his head and said, sadly, "What a waste. You're way too young to throw your life away like this." Silly me; I was worried that at 46 I might be too old for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 998

You deserved it 401

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 586

You deserved it 3 480

Today, my younger sister ran into my room, telling me someone was trying to break in. We were home alone, so she went to hide as I took a crowbar and followed the intruder. Just as I was about to swing, he turned around: it was my dad. I had to explain to my sister that burglars don't have keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 3 053