Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: It's sus to us

It's sus to us

By inder - 25/02/2011 16:03 - United Kingdom

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 859

You deserved it 4 753

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By noname - 22/09/2010 05:37 - Canada

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriend's shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 552

You deserved it 13 821

By Anonymous - 01/08/2012 09:02 - United States

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 726

You deserved it 6 595

By sheyshey0413 - 13/06/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 043

You deserved it 6 941

Better safe

By stretchy - 06/05/2013 19:58 - United States - Bethesda

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 676

You deserved it 9 354

By dickofbrokendreams - 02/03/2015 05:14 - United States - Waynesville

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 022

You deserved it 3 479

By geewhy - 26/12/2012 21:20 - United States - South Park

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 708

You deserved it 5 439

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 19 275

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 939

You deserved it 9 090

By Darcy - 26/10/2011 06:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 570

You deserved it 4 582

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 960

You deserved it 6 539

jasonf00 1

Friday 25 February 2011 18:57

Um, she did say "backwards" so giving herself oral still isn't happening.

tcharbs 0

Friday 25 February 2011 19:03

what an idiot flexibility=tons of hot positions you should find a guy with an emotional age over 5

Comments

life_sucks_screw 0

Friday 18 March 2011 21:16

Is your boyfriend stupid, tons of guys would love to have girlfriend as flexible as you!

braidedsilver 8

Wednesday 23 March 2011 4:49

Yeah I don't get it either, my husband would probably sleep with you in a minute for being that bendy and I don't think I could blame him.

skylarbee 8

Friday 25 March 2011 5:37

your picture is awesome.

thetrojandude 0

Monday 28 March 2011 20:43

he'll if u were with me I would make u scream and not to mention I would have fun playin with ur flexability

Amber33 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 8:24

Can we say gay!! Hello!!!

OverFlash 15

Friday 15 April 2011 10:03

I just have one thing to say: Viennese Oyster :P

Tata535 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 11:30

Good and since tour single you and a guy that will gladly embrace your gift and love you for it lmao

179jfkla 2

Monday 25 April 2011 2:19

he obviously wants to suck his own dick which is impossible I've tried

tamoodielovesmar 1

Sunday 8 May 2011 22:59

true dat

hi_its_katie 2

Wednesday 11 May 2011 5:13

dude thats easy.

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Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 124

Today, during a dinner party, some friends brought up how sweet, innocent and caring they thought I was. I had to sit there as my drunk boyfriend cut them off and loudly argue that I was neither sweet nor innocent, and really nothing that special at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 981

You deserved it 4 590

The Top

Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 608

You deserved it 2 187

Today, I found that my medical school has lost its WFME (World Federation for Medical Education) accreditation and my certificate (that I should be obtaining in two years) will be worthless. To pour salt into the wound, I have finals next week and it's hard to stay motivated after this kind of news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 79

Today, I got a paper back that was given a zero for suspected plagiarism. Everything I wrote was my own thought and analysis. My instructor basically thinks my paper is smarter than I am. He won't listen, even when I explain my thought processes throughout the piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 679

You deserved it 2 734

Today, I swapped seats with someone on a ferry so she could sit next to her friend. Minutes later, a child sitting behind me threw up on my head, while the girl I had swapped with and her friend laughed hysterically as I attempted to wipe the puke from my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 796

You deserved it 3 970

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 410

You deserved it 56 084

Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 172

It's sus to us

Same thing different taste

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