Cats and Love: Jealousy

Jealousy

By JLD - 11/10/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I came home from a four-day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she's been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 340

You deserved it 5 157

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 02:14 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 513

You deserved it 4 197

I recognize that voice

By Ratted - 10/10/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 541

Needy baby

By nosleeptilpissoff - 18/03/2011 15:54 - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 421

You deserved it 6 390

I HATE YOU HOOMAN

By What? - 21/09/2022 11:00

Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 232

Telepathy?

By So tired - 24/05/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my incredibly needy rescue cat - who knows she doesn't get to go into my bedroom at night - decided that she needed to wail and scratch the bedroom door from midnight until 5 a.m. Now that I'm awake, she's ignoring me because she knows I'm mad at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 380

By notevencatnipworks - 27/08/2018 13:00

Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 082

You deserved it 321

HUMAN! I NEED ATTENTION!

By Mur - 09/09/2023 22:00

Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 132

Sixth sense

By What does she know? - 27/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I've known for a while that my cat can sense when I'm not feeling good, as she gets more clingy than usual. I've been a bit under the weather as of late, not really sick, but just a little off, and she keeps meowing nonstop and refuses to leave me alone for any reason whatsoever. I'm honestly very concerned now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 110

Getting no pussy love

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 05:02

Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 428

By aherdofpigs - 02/09/2013 19:22 - United States

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 086

You deserved it 21 075

H8rSk8r 0

Monday 11 October 2010 12:05

That's a pretty sour pussy if you ask me!

FFML_314 11

Monday 11 October 2010 12:09

That's because your husband bad talks you to the cat while you're gone. They're plotting. Be careful. WEAR SOCKS!

Comments

EvilDave 13

Monday 11 October 2010 15:29

I have news for you, that isn't your cat. It is your husband's cat, whether either of you like it or not.

Alexis31609 9

Monday 11 October 2010 15:30

I agree with your husband. it's hilarious. xD

slayer101794 5

Monday 11 October 2010 15:49

lmao it's pissed that you abandoned it for so long teach it to respect u again and.... SPANK THAT PUSSY!!!!

Nyc__Princess 0

Monday 11 October 2010 15:49

seems like your husband & your cat have been taking advantage of your time away. Dump him for a dog OP (:

jayemdoubleyou 1

Monday 11 October 2010 16:09

He is right.

ccrazykill 0

Monday 11 October 2010 17:09

kill the stupid cat thereya go problem solved

AssDan 0

Monday 11 October 2010 18:48

Ffs! Push it off the bed problem solved.

fridaf 0

Monday 11 October 2010 21:37

lock your door before the cat goes in? get your husband to take her out???

KattAlex 4

Monday 11 October 2010 22:14

Maybe, you should do what my brother did and slap the cat in the face with your dick or in your case *****. I can't make this shit up if I tried.

I_have_no_clue 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 0:05

This is disturbing on so many levels.

laden_swallow09 34

Monday 11 October 2010 22:19

Don't you know that the only thing you can hope for a cat is that it develops Stockholm Syndrome? Damn cats… spaying and neutering for everybody!!!

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The Top

Today, I took my new boyfriend's virginity about 10 minutes ago. He kept whispering, "It’s inside you, it’s actually inside you… feels kind of sticky, slippery, it’s actually inside you I can’t believe it.” It was super off-putting and a bit creepy. And no, I definitely did not orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 277

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he got so into it that he grabbed my hair. Just as he was about to climax, he pulled my hair so hard that my extensions came out. I jerked back and hit my head on the wall behind me. He then came in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 350

You deserved it 574

The Top

Today, at work, I cashed out a sweet old lady. As I handed her the bag, she looked at me kindly and said, "Don’t worry sweetie. It'll get better," to which I responded, "What will get better?" She smiled at me and said, "Your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 751

You deserved it 373

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 4 122

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 268

You deserved it 3 542

Today, I went to see Terminator. Not wanting to spend an outrageous amount of money at the concession stand, I sneaked a Dr. Pepper into the theater. I thought I had gotten away with it, until I opened the bottle and it exploded all over me and four other people that I didn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 425

You deserved it 52 945

Today, an irate woman came into my store, screaming that she wanted a refund for the “defective” juicer we sold her. Apparently we’re all idiots who can’t build thing properly. I work at Best Buy and she was trying to juice bananas, but got mad they kept coming out as goop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 105

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 116

You deserved it 2 300

Same thing different taste

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