Embarrassing, Insects and Animals: Jumpy

Jumpy

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 565

You deserved it 63 599

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Same thing different taste

Panic at the crosswalk

By Butterflyguy - 14/08/2009 17:10 - Canada

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 341

You deserved it 23 649

By tryscal - 12/07/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 280

You deserved it 56 892

By Lala - 10/09/2009 13:40 - Philippines

Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 346

You deserved it 50 287

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 144

You deserved it 12 192

Ewwww

By jamblasticus - 09/05/2009 01:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 993

You deserved it 6 190

By Anonymous - 11/09/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 673

You deserved it 62 593

By gabby - 24/02/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 024

You deserved it 32 451

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 579

You deserved it 44 853

By outofluckdude - 01/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 769

You deserved it 3 667

Brain melt

By Anonymous - 03/03/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 115

You deserved it 29 689

uneekfreak16 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

Are you the same guy with the FML who smashed his own nuts when he got scared and saw a spider on them?

hyper12332 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

haha you little pussy

Comments

timeisindustry 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:28

wow, you're retarded.

hellokittywhore 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 5:25

butterflies are the root of all evil!!!! those sinister lil hevens!!!!! ;)))

danyfuckinheatle 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 2:46

that got their attention.

jazziness 12

Saturday 13 August 2011 18:45

I agree #170 I'm absolutely terrified of butterflies because they're crazy and ugly!!!!

QuirkyCorgiLove 8

Saturday 7 April 2012 14:41

Butterflies are ******* terrifying.

VenomSiphon 13

Friday 13 April 2012 5:45

You may all be glad to know that I now have a girlfriend. I bet when I propose, a butterfly will flutter onto the scene and destroy me.

hyper12332 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

haha you little pussy

Darraghscoot 0

Wednesday 7 April 2010 2:36

who pays attention to stamps?

lolfood 24

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:02

What the ****? ^^^

uneekfreak16 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

Are you the same guy with the FML who smashed his own nuts when he got scared and saw a spider on them?

iampunk 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 4:17

LMFAO!

wtfisfmy 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 15:31

HAHA WOW!!! LMAO

Guatican 6

Friday 24 October 2014 4:52

What the actual ****?! XD

ApplaudtheActor 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:32

Macho. I'll bet you got lots of numbers after that, eh?

amateur_ninja 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:35

Did the scary butterfly take your balls?

kalixzo 11

Tuesday 11 May 2010 3:47

what if it was an evil butterfly with laser beams and sharp teeth?

eiji_chan 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:35

Next time pee in your pants when you see a lady bug. Girls love sensitive men. LOL #3 :D

wtrplochica 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:36

Don't worry. I'm afraid of them too... :)

pompompom_fml 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 22:58

here's a possible date :)

hayride1987 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:37

no wonder your available...

deegee12 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:43

hmm. you're cool

withfire 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:46

I'm guessing you had something in your stomach.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, at work, I was looking for my lost wallet. After hours of looking I gave up and went home. The wallet then showed up in my mail box with an envelope marked "To the asshole." I opened the letter and it was filled with poop. My wallet too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 728

You deserved it 5 075

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 612

You deserved it 3 895

The Top

Today, I found out why my five-year-old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 566

You deserved it 3 687

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 716

You deserved it 208

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 2 814

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 604

You deserved it 61 299

Today, I went for an eye exam. The doctor asked me to read the chart on the wall and without even thinking about it, I started to call out the letters using the NATO phonetic alphabet. Nope, my time in the military has had absolutely no effect on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 196

Today, I took away my daughter’s candy bar, saying, “Princesses never eat sweets.” She spent the next few hours crying, because she “didn’t want to be a princess anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 2 373

Jumpy

Same thing different taste

Panic at the crosswalk

Ewwww

Caught in the act

Brain melt

Top comments

Comments