Babies and Kids: Karme is real

Karme is real

By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, I held my cousin's new baby, whom I have nicknamed Canteloupe Head. He then reenacted the Exorcist by projectile vomiting all over my lap and shirt. His mom is a firm believer in karma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 077

You deserved it 35 475

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Same thing different taste

Catch!

By babybreath - 03/06/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 106

You deserved it 10 193

By brittsters - 04/09/2015 17:46 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 937

You deserved it 3 081

Classic mistake

By Katy - 14/02/2023 18:00

Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 368

By Felinefine - 15/08/2016 19:33 - United Kingdom - South Petherton

Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 909

You deserved it 2 511

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

By Lickmebaby - 12/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Enfield

Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 751

You deserved it 521

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 137

You deserved it 13 659

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 3 511

By laurwitharawr - 06/10/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 4 438

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 740

You deserved it 5 814

perdix 29

Wednesday 13 October 2010 23:06

Even the baby knew you misspelled cantaloupe! It would be great if the vomit stream was bright orange.

CitrusGirl 0

Wednesday 13 October 2010 23:12

YDI- never insult peoples babies.

Comments

soysauce1208 18

Thursday 14 October 2010 0:27

im sure if you just came into this world with the nickname cantaloupe head you would puke on the person who gave it to you too! :|

maxtheman 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 0:37

Baby puked cuz it was sick of this ####

marcranger 28

Thursday 14 October 2010 0:47

ydi for holding a baby. those things are disgusting.

DLTsandwich 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 3:27

If everyone had that attitude, we would all be extinct.

1personinthiswor 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 18:00

55 - Not if all babies became self-sufficient. The Wolf Girls survived. The human race might be a lot cooler that way. :)

lovelyliz916 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 0:53

Epic win for the baby, you fail miserably, muahahahahaha. ;)

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 14 October 2010 1:01

Mellon Head FTW

Evii_fml 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 1:20

Now you know not to make fun of babies.! You Fail.!

Nine001 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 1:28

Shhh..Ahhhh

Nine001 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 1:28

Shhh..Ahhhh

canadian_ftw 8

Thursday 14 October 2010 1:32

why would you nickname it now? nickname it when it can remember the nickname.

ZERO530 5

Thursday 14 October 2010 7:42

Damnnn Ur Do Pale You Glow FTW

TropicalTulipz 0

Thursday 14 October 2010 1:46

canteloupe head!!! WTF!! u totally deserved that throw up dude...

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family Cats DIY Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 084

You deserved it 2 489

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 473

The Top

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 220

You deserved it 3 954

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 690

You deserved it 4 147

Today, on our anniversary, my sister bitched me out and made a passive aggressive Facebook post on our page, all because my fiancé didn't want to clean her cat puke on the floor downstairs when she was literally right next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 90

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 567

You deserved it 5 862

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 710

You deserved it 3 166

Today, I noticed that a picture of me on my mum and dad's wall looked different. On closer inspection, I realised they'd recently painted over my teeth with white paint. I asked them why, and they said they looked 'discoloured'. It's my wedding photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 985

You deserved it 3 659

Karme is real

Same thing different taste

Catch!

Classic mistake

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